How does your relationship with alcohol impact your business? In today’s episode, I’m continuing my mindset series and introducing you to life coach Sarah Williamson. Sarah and I take on the heavy conversations surrounding living alcohol-free, the impact that alcohol can have on your business, plus strategies for sobriety and helping anyone who may be struggling. This chat is a tough one, but Sarah and I are approaching it judgement-free with love and compassion. 

On Quianna Marie Weekly, we’re chatting about business growing pains, finding genuine connections, and celebrating wins of all sizes through the lens of a photographer at heart. Sprinkled throughout stories and interviews with past clients, photographers and other business owners this podcast is designed to help you step into your purpose and to truly create a life you’re proud of, a life worth photographing and sharing.

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Review The Show Notes: 

Being Alcohol-Free For Your Business (3:13)

Sarah’s Story To Becoming Alcohol-Free (5:33)

Why We Use Alcohol As A Vice (15:11)

If You’re Scared to Go Alcohol-Free (23:51)

Choosing To Drink Less For Your Business (27:53)

Supporting People Who Choose Not To Drink(33:09)

When Someone May Need Help (38:29)

Connect With Sarah:

Book: mybook.to/drinklesslivebetter

Website: drinklesslivebetter.com

Instagram: instagram.com/drinklesslivebetter

Podcast: drinklesslivebetter.com/podcast

Review the Transcript:

Quianna: What’s your relationship with alcohol? Have you completely cut it out of your life? Do you enjoy a beer or a cocktail here and there for special occasions? Does it feel like an ex that keeps calling when you’re trying to move on, but can’t resist? It’s truly my passion to share all types of conversations on the podcast, especially the deep, genuine, and compassionate interviews about relationships, self-development, photography, business, and all seasons of life.

I’m here to support you, reach your goals, and live the life of your dreams. Does that include alcohol? Maybe a little or none at all? Today I have the honor of introducing you to Sarah Williamson. Sarah is a small business owner, coach, and mentor with over 15 years of working in substance use and misuse.

She’s a bestselling author, podcast host, and happily alcohol free. Sarah loves supporting her. Clients that choose to drink less, enjoy sobriety or live happily alcohol free. I’m excited to learn more about her story and how it can encourage us to think about alcohol, the choices we make, and how it can affect not only our relationships and personal lives, but also the expansion and the growth of our businesses.

As a warning, this chat may bring up some emotions, but please know that both Sarah and I are coming from a place of love and encouragement with no judgment ever. We truly only want what’s best for you and your business. We’ll be chatting about the culture around alcohol and how it’s still celebrated today.

Strategies and tips to find clarity with sobriety and even take the conversation to share love and grace for coworkers, friends and family members that may be struggling with alcohol consumption, and how to express your love and concern without pushing them away as a reminder. These are the genuine and kindhearted conversations I’ve been craving to have, and I’m so thankful for Sarah, the work she’s doing and the willingness she has to share her own stories and heart around living alcohol free.

I. All the way from across the pond in England to the desert here in Arizona. Please welcome Sarah Williamson. Let’s get this party started!!

Welcome to Quianna Marie Weekly, a podcast for creatives who love to celebrate wins big or small by dancing in the kitchen photographers who are excited to serve their clients.

And friends who are ready to chase really, really big dreams. You can find all of the resources mentioned in this episode www.QuiannaMarie.com/podcast Join me as I share weekly motivation, chat about growing pains, finding genuine connections, and celebrating your wins. Through the lens of a photographer at heart, come join me for a dance party.

Ready? Let’s go.

Well, hello Sarah. Thank you so much for joining the party. It is an honor to have you on the show, and I am so grateful for this conversation already. How are you? I’m really well, thank you. It’s so lovely to be here. Thank you for having me. Yes. Well, let’s dive right into this. I don’t wanna waste any time.

The Impact of Alcohol In Your Business

I would love to know, Sarah, how has committing to no longer drinking impact your business?

Sarah: It has had an enormous impact, and actually I go so far as to say it is most of my business now. When I was working for somebody else, when I worked in local government, in youth justice. The fact that I might have turned up for work, feeling slightly hungover, having a bit of brain fog, slightly low level feeling about life in general, kind of didn’t matter when I was being paid by somebody else.

But I am here to tell you that when we are working for ourselves, turning up and giving ourselves the best opportunity day on day. To get what we really want out of ourselves. Perhaps it’s in terms of productivity or all of the different ways we show up in our business. Doing that from a mindset of always knowing that I have not had a drink the day before and I’m giving myself my best possible chance at showing up in my business.

You bet. I’m taking that as a win.

Quianna: Oh, I love that so much. And you’re right, there is a difference here, right? Where. If you are currently employed by someone else, and it’s okay to feel a little bit of sleepy or to have that brain fog or to kind of cure that hangover because you’re physically there, right?

You’re showing up, you’re going through the paces, and it’s a completely different story when you are running the show like, like this is your own business.

Sarah: I think when we are working for ourselves, don’t we owe ourselves the best opportunity to show up? Who we really want to be in the world, and our businesses are in part expressions of who we are and our businesses.

Sure they have their personalities, but we are a massive part of that. And I think for me that is a real gift and joy that Oh, okay. So a big part of my business is around the fact that I am alcohol free. And another training part of my business is around mental health. I love the opportunity to be able to talk about how alcohol has impacted my mental health.

I think that’s something we don’t talk about a lot, and so using our businesses as part of our storytelling, as part of our being a lighthouse for other people is really important.

Quianna: Oh my gosh. Well, I would love to know more about you, Sarah, and I would love to know what was your story that ultimately led you to being completely alcohol free?

Sarah: The quick version of that story is one that started with me drinking probably around age 14, 15 in the uk. At, at that point there was, I would describe my relationship with alcohol as fairly typical for the time. Um, so I grew up in a tiny village, which had two pubs in it. One pub the parents drank in and one pub the kids drank in.

Um, it was kind of a rite of passage to have your 18th birthday, which is our legal age for drinking in the pub, even though we’d already been drinking there for years. It was a bit farcical at that time. The licensing laws are stricter definitely now, and that certainly is not the regular case of how teenagers tend to drink now.

I went to university and had probably what’s quite a typical relationship with alcohol through my late teens and early twenties. In as much as. I worked in Central London and the words we used to talk about were working hard and playing hard, which if we’re honest, is a euphemism for working hard and drinking a shed load.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so there was a lot of that activity and I’d have said to you at the time. I was living a version of my best life that was making the most of all the social opportunities and enjoying myself, and I’ve got some wild and some fabulous and some hilarious stories to tell you about that time, but I was living very much in that moment and never considering the consequences beyond the next morning.

I met my husband when I was 24. We married quite quickly, had our kids quite quickly after that, and I would say that with the exception of having a break from drinking through pregnancies and breastfeeding, my drinking then was a coupling activity rather than a big party activity. And it then became a habit that was.

Most nights of the week drinking and not a huge amount. Um, you know, my drinking went through stages where it could just have been a glass of wine whilst I was cooking dinner. And many people would say, looking at that type of drinking as an example, there’s no problem here. Nothing to see. You know, this is drinking under the government guidelines for what is recommended amount of units to drink.

I started to realize that I was still feeling below par as my kids got a bit bigger. I started to do a bit of a combination of weekend binge drinking, and during the week drinking. I also interspersed it with gaps of breaks from drinking where I could easily do a dry January or a sober October because I needed to prove.

To myself and to anyone else who was looking on that. I didn’t have what you might think was a problem with alcohol. And I had this moment where one day I was sitting down in the evening, it would probably have been about, I dunno, let’s say eight o’clock in the evening, sat on my sofa. My boys were bouncing in and out round the room, we’d had dinner, I was having a glass of wine.

My husband was there, the dog was there. And I had this moment where I thought, oh. All of my wildest dreams have come true. I am married to a lovely man. We live in a nice house, in a beautiful town in the countryside, two kids, a dog. This is everything, and that’s what was really quickly followed by, and I just feel so overwhelmed.

It’s all too much. I am drinking this wine because it is taking the edge off. And it was really uncomfortable and I really see now looking back and I’m responsibility for my own actions and behaviors. How much, and particularly as women alcohol is marketed to us, you have to go into that gift shop and look for a birthday card for your girlfriend who is turning 20 or 30 or 40, and just try and find a card that has not got the bottle of thiers or the gin or the gag about tequila on the front of it.

You’ll be hard pushed. You’ll have your fridge mag. You’ll have your little wooden sign. You know, this kitchen is for Prosecco, this kitchen is for dancing. This, you know, all of that stuff that feeds into this big permission flip around it’s wine o’clock somewhere or whatever the cutesy little sign is.

Perhaps what we are is overwhelmed. Perhaps what we are is knackered. Perhaps what we are is. Really weary from carrying all of the mental load. And what we might need instead is a massive cuddle or somebody to cook dinner for us or somebody to help us with some of the stuff that’s going on. And my AP children to deciding to have a break from alcohol cook two and a half years.

So I decided in 2017 I had a particularly spectacular hangover on this particular day. I’d been out with my friends in London the night before. We’d done the cocktails, the dinner, the wine, the last train home, the whole thing, and the next morning I felt like death and it was a, a dreadful hangover, but also no worse than hangovers I had had before.

It wasn’t a particularly significant hangover, and also it was not a rock bottom. It was just a dreadful hangover. On that day, I thought to myself, oh, I am done with feeling like this. I’m not, I, I have done this to myself. My zone of tolerance for this is shrinking. This is not the identity of who I want to be in the future.

And I decided what I would do was have a break from alcohol to see just how it felt. I wasn’t gonna promise myself I was never drinking again or anything like that, but it took me two and a half years to actually get to that start point. And what happened in that two and a half years was I educated myself and I carried on drinking, but thinking about the impact that drinking was having on me.

I carried on drinking, but in different ways. I got to a point where I could go for a massive night out with my girlfriends and just drink two glasses of wine, not lose my keys in the pub, not forget my phone, in the taxi, not leave my shoes outside, and arrive home in a perfectly reasonable condition.

Have a nice day the next day, but I still realized it was not quite good enough. So that was the rundown to deciding I was gonna have a break from alcohol. And in 2019 I said, okay, I’m gonna have a year without alcohol. I’m gonna run it as an experiment and see how it feels. And at the end of that experiment, if I decide I life is no better or no worse, I can go back to drinking in a way that feels manageable and okay, but if everything feels different, maybe I’ll carry on.

And I just gave myself the opportunity. To see it through the lens of what do I get to learn from this? And that was 2020 that I did a year without drinking. And actually, I’m here to tell you, I haven’t gone back

Quianna: to it. Yes. Wow. That is incredible. And I’m so happy that you shared this journey with us because I really do believe it is so relatable, right?

There are so many of us that. Right. I mean, it’s, it’s a social thing. We grab a glass of wine with girlfriends. It’s encouraged. And you are right. You know, now that, now that you mentioned that about going to find birthday cards or gifts, like, I am gonna think of you, Sarah, every time I pop into our, we have a, like a local Trader Joe’s or grocery stores or shops like.

I’m gonna be looking for those cards. And you are right. Everything has alcohol on it, everything. And it is targeted to us.

Sarah: It really is. And I would go further and I would say to you, you know, let’s look at the ification of alcohol as well. And oh my goodness, what about the way Rose is marketed? Let’s look at the way that the labeling is put to us.

What about all the seasonal gins that’ll start to be being marketed Now they’re gonna do the summer berry flavors and. All of this that feeds into, you know, a huge machine. I’m really conscious of where I can win my battles and where I can’t in the world. I recognize I’m not about to be able to take down whole government’s whole tax industries.

I, I see where my power lies and where it doesn’t. But for us just to bring a level of awareness to this kind of stuff, I think is useful.

Quianna: Yes. And I’m so happy you mentioned that word awareness. ’cause that’s what was kind of running in the back of my mind. When you mentioned, and I wanna take us back to that moment when you were in your living room with the boys bouncing around, your handsome husband with you and your dog, and you’re just like feeling like, wow, I’ve made it.

Or like, this is the moment where I’ve prayed for this. Right? Like I can, I know that all of us listening have reached a point in some way of that feeling, right? Maybe we’re not there yet. I know I haven’t started my family yet, but it’s coming. I’m so happy that you mentioned awareness because. It takes time and exercises and memories and moments to realize, wait a second here.

Like, I don’t want to be drowning my life away. Like I, I want to be fully present. I would love for us to take this even deeper and, and share a little bit more about the mindset. Like, and maybe this is a science question, like maybe this is. A little bit deeper where, you know, what is it about alcohol and why are we so drawn to alcohol to kind of like cloud our judgment, to kind of like take it easy and relax.

Like where, why does alcohol do that? How, like how, how is it vice that really does just kind of like blur out our worries and it is that sigh of relief. At the end of the day, it actually just creates more headaches, right? For most of us. So I would love to kind of unpack that together,

Sarah: several different things on this.

I I, so if we take the starting point then, and, and we might not like this as a starting point, and that is okay. I certainly would not have liked this as a starting point way back when alcohol is a. And so the reason it has the physiological effect that it does on us is because it is a toxin. It is doing us.

There’s no nutritional benefit in alcohol. It’s ethanol what alcohol is in its bottle. We could describe it as pretty packaged poison really. It’s got all of the colors and all of the beautiful flavors in it. A shed load of sugar that makes it drinkable. If we were to drink something that was, I dunno, 80% proof, let me tell you, we would not be sipping that and saying, this is the most delicious thing in the world.

It is. Alcohol is not delicious. And if we think back to our first earliest experiences of drinking alcohol, actually for most people, we are not taking our first sip of alcohol and thinking, Hmm, this is tasty. Generally we have to push through those first feelings of, actually, I. Beer does not taste very nice.

It hits our taste buds differently than anything we’ve ever drunk before. I’m, I’m not gonna argue with somebody who tells me right now that they’re delicious, crisp. Glass of Whispering Angel is the tastiest treat that they enjoy and I’m, I’m not gonna take that away from anyone, but I am just going to say part of the way that we feel about the alcohol that we drink is to do with conditioning, both society and both also perhaps what we’ve taken on board from a really young age.

The way media, let’s look at our favorite TV programs and our movies, the way alcohol is portrayed. That way. There’s glamor with it. There’s mystery with it. There’s sexiness with it. All of these things that are feeding him. I would say let’s be truly honest about what alcohol does for us in terms of feelings.

So we get a different feeling from alcohol if we drink that first, let, let’s say a glass of wine. When we are in a celebratory mood, we’re at our girlfriend’s birthday party. We’re at a wedding, we’re at a music festival, and woohoo, we’re having such a fabulous time and it’s uplifting and everything is awesome.

That glass of wine is a totally different tasting glass of wine in my opinion, and also feeling glass of wine if we’re at somebody’s funeral, who we deeply cared about. And that idea that we have in our mind that alcohol is something that. For want of a better word, cures or brings a feeling of dot, dot, dot, fill in the blank.

There’s no way one substance can possibly be all of those things. For all of those feelings, we’ve just somehow conditioned ourselves into thinking that it is the answer. If we’ve had a shock that it is the answer, if we’re celebrating that it is the answer for fill in the blank reasons. And if we take a closer look at it, we do have the opportunity to see the truth of it.

And like I said, we might not enjoy the truth of it, but if we take a really objective view and start to, uh, I can tell you now the glass of wine that I have enjoyed least in my life, but absolutely persevered with drinking. It was at my best friend’s husband’s funeral and I was. So beside myself with grief and trying to do something, anything, anything, to not feel this ugly, horrible, overwhelming feeling.

And I was almost holding my nose trying to drink this glass of wine just because I needed the edge off. And I, I didn’t have another way in which I could do that in that moment. Certainly, I would say in ti terms of mindset, we can really help ourselves by having a look at what the stuff is behind the feelings.

And by that I mean if I were to take my example of overwhelm rather than a glass of wine. If I go beyond that, what, what did I actually need? Well, let me tell you. At the time of that experience, I was working several different part-time jobs. At the same time, I was a trustee of a charity. I didn’t have any, uh, wider family support.

What I actually needed was practical solutions that I didn’t have. And we could take the idea of overwhelm and we could say, okay, perhaps somebody might be using it as a numbing tool for some different uncomfortable emotions. What is going on? What could be better coping strategies? Now, they might be distractions, but actually it might be something deeper than that, and we don’t go to the distractions.

Perhaps we go behind that and look for what’s really needed beyond the, I guess, more superficial stuff.

Quianna: Oh, this is so good. And I love that you broke that down because I literally am such a visual person that I could see a glass of wine and I almost see like someone clicking through the different backdrops where you’re like, right, you’re like, cool.

You’re cheering this glass of wine at your best friend’s wedding, at your little sister’s graduation at, you know, uh, popping that champagne at, you know, a new home, right? Like, right. All these big accomplishments. And then also that same glass of wine. At a funeral and how we’re just conditioned to taste differently.

Like that is just so crazy to me.

Sarah: And isn’t it world When we think about, you know, christenings and babies and, and all of this stuff that is so amazing for the joy of what it actually is, you know, these things that we are celebrating and the music festival, all of these things are great things because they are great things.

And actually the alcohol, dare I say, it isn’t bringing anything else itself to the party. And in fact, maybe it’s taking away because what is the authenticity that we start missing out on? Where do we skip the deeper connections that we get to have with somebody? What if, you know, we end up being a write off by 8:00 PM because we’ve drunk too much and we had to be put to bed or, or however the story might end, or a shame because actually there was going to be real debt in that joint community.

Family experience we were going to have together and how much alcohol often, and, and, you know, I’m about to use the word problematic now. When I say problematic, there are levels of of problem. What a shame that then somebody might have an experience with alcohol at a party or an event that is in front of other people that then leads to them afterwards dealing with the fallout of shame or guilt or anxiety when all that was required was a lovely night out, a lovely gathering.

I would go further and.

Forget about alcohol. I think part of that, if that first drink that we have, part of the dopamine hit, part of the, the reaction that alcohol has has in our body is caught up with sugar. And so that kind of 20 minutes after we’ve had that first drink, that feeling that we might get at that point where I’m not gonna deny to you, it might be an elevated feeling, might bring in a bit relaxation, joy, whatever the thing is.

Bit of buzziness. When we chase that feeling, we are never getting that feeling again. You know, you can guess what? By the time you’ve drunk six margaritas, you are not feeling the same as when you drank one margarita, and yet. We carry on because we, it’s a chase of a buzz that unfortunately doesn’t reoccurs on that evening.

So we’ve almost sold ourselves a, a, a mis descrip really, of what we wanted alcohol to do.

Quianna: Oh my gosh. That is so interesting. And you’re right, I love that. I love covering the mindset and just the thoughts behind, oh my gosh, this is so good. Let’s say that someone may be aware. They’re like, okay, cool. I want to run my business with clarity.

I want to show up as the best version of myself. What would you say to someone that may be scared of making this choice of going alcohol free?

Sarah: I would say to them exactly what I wish somebody would’ve said to me a few years ago. Be really open-minded about this. See this as a life experiment. Go into this with your eyes wide open.

Gather the data that you want and need. You do not have to put hard and fast and deeply uncomfortable barriers around this if you don’t want to. I am so glad that I did not go into this saying, I am never drinking again, because I think I potentially, I’m, I’m gonna use this next word lightly and I’ll, I’ll tell you why.

I would’ve seen myself as hitting meeting with failure over and over again. And I used the word failure lightly because actually what it was with learning as I was going along, I was gathering the information that I needed. I was allowing myself the opportunity to say, okay, well this didn’t go as planned, but what I now know about that is next time I’m gonna be better prepared with.

A different coping strategy, for example. So go into it with an experimental mindset, an open-mindedness. I would say there are so many places that you can look for amazing resources and supportive tools. I would also say be cautious about labeling. That would be something also that I wish I’d known a while ago, even though I spent 15 years working in substance use and misuse whilst never addressing my own relationship with alcohol.

All of the, and, and when I say labeling, I’m talking about the labels of alcoholic addiction. I’m talking about alcoholism. I’m talking about sober, sober, curious, mindful drinking, drinking less moderation. We could throw loads of different words into the bucket here. Pick out the words that feel good to you and that feel interesting and feel expansive.

If you are somebody who really enjoys the label of, you know, I am an alcoholic, this is part of my identity, this is part of what gives me strength, then great claim that for yourself. But either use the labels lightly whilst you try them on for size, or you don’t have to give yourself a label. You can just be choosing this as an experiment.

Quianna: Yes. Oh, I love that grace that you just shared, and I am a huge advocate for. Always learning, educating, but not putting yourself in a box, right? Like not making it set in stone. And I love that you mentioned that you never once said like, I am giving this up forever. It was simply an experience, like an experiment and a journey for you to get to that point.

And I just think that is so incredible and something that we can apply to our businesses and our lives today.

Sarah: And alongside that, I would also say you don’t need to wait. I said to you, I didn’t have a rock bottom story. And, and I, I recognized that the movies and the, um, the TV shows would have us believe that there had to be a family intervention and somebody had to be sent to rehab.

I. They got a DUI. They blew up their relationship. They lost their job. All of this drama, all of this big fallout, this chaos. Your story doesn’t need to involve any of that if you don’t want it to. There’s no need. You don’t need to go anywhere near that rock bottom to just recognize that alcohol might not be serving you in the way that maybe it once was, and you would like to choose something different for yourself going forward.

Quianna: I’m excited to take the conversation to a little bit, like a little bit of a shift. But before we get there, I do wanna dig a little bit deeper into the success and growth of business. That really does come from, I would just say drinking less alcohol. Like I would love to just kind of put that blanket statement.

’cause I will tell you in my experience, from going to conferences, to investing in education and doing all these things. This is a very bold thing to say and so I hope this isn’t triggering to some people, but a lot of the most successful people I know don’t drink alcohol, and this is something that I want to bring to the table.

I want to bring up and like share this conversation because I’m not saying this to shame anybody. I’m not saying this to, you know, to rattle any feathers, but some of the most successful people I know are choosing to drink less. So I would love to like, let’s, if we can kind of unwrap that box a little bit more and like what that means to truly feel so clear in your mind and to show up as your best self in business.

Sarah, can we chat more about that?

Sarah: I would say it’s almost like a secret superpower. This is not about adding another thing in. This is not about building another funnel or doing another marketing course or. Getting better at your closing your sales, or any of these things that we might spend time, money, energy on.

This is about taking one thing out, not more in, and I think that really, actually, it is something that allows us more authenticity, which we either may or may not be comfortable with, and that’s maybe a whole other conversation. And its one that. We can really boil this down into the conversation about living in our values.

And if we are somebody who says, I’ll give you some of my examples, um, I’m somebody who really enjoys doing courageous things, believing in other people, and caring for my family. If I am ever so slightly numbing myself, whether it’s regularly or irregularly, and drinking, what am I taking away from those values?

Where am I being absolutely true to myself and where am I not quite showing up? If I use the example of my kids, I would say we can talk to people in our world all the time about who we are and what we’re doing are our words. One part, but what are we showing with our actions? So am I modeling for my kids a good way, a healthy way, a reasonable way of dealing with life stresses?

What am I, am I talking about, you know, on a Friday night, am I saying, oh yeah, this has been a difficult week, but as a family this is how we deal with difficult weeks. Maybe it’s conversation, maybe it’s all have a hot chocolate together. Maybe it’s walk the dogs together. We, and it’s really easy for, well, I’m about to say it’s really easy.

It’s been deeply uncomfortable also. But looking back at family patterns, what’s gone on generationally before for us? Are we prepared to break cycles? What might that feel like? Can we resource ourselves to do that stuff? So really, I would probably say. A secret superpower in summary, but it happens to be a superpower that I’m not very secret about and I’m de, I’m always so delighted when people with a big public profile do declare themselves as either being alcohol free, sober, or drinking less, or whatever it is.

Because I think, yeah, it’s another person doing the thing.

Quianna: And I love, before we move on, I just have to say, I love that you mentioned it’s a superpower. And it’s, it truly is because, and this is the part that is just. It gives me the chills and I get like all the feels mentioning this is that when you are in full alignment with your values, just like you mentioned with who you are, with where you’re going, and the trajectory that you are, like you need to be your best self.

Like you can’t wake up with a splitting headache and feeling like crap and. I stopped drinking years ago and, and I say that so lightly because I do. I will have a glass of wine now and then I will make myself a margarita or go out to our local favorite Mexican restaurant and have a margarita, like I’m not completely sober.

But when it comes to prioritizing my business and feeling this growth and abundance, I absolutely noticed in myself and in my business how much more I was able to expand. Because I was clear. I, I had that vision and it just, it truly was a superpower that allowed me to just like, oh my gosh, just accelerate and just, and be fully myself.

Ugh. It just feels so good. I. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I would love, I’ve mentioned shifting the conversation for a while now, so we’re here. I would love to shift the conversation just a little bit, kind of get in a different lane and bring the conversation to awareness to maybe some family members. And I know this is a business podcast.

It’s all about life and business and maybe even another coworker or even an employee, like I kind of wanna keep this open. But in your opinion, Sarah, what are some ways that we can look out for, for signs that someone may be struggling with alcohol?

Sarah: So first, on that note, I would say to be really mindful of the circumstances and situations you are crossing paths.

With people in, so here’s an example. Do you work in the kind of place where, you know, Friday nights are always the afternoon into evening is ended in the the bar, or is your summer party always a barbecue with a free bar drink as much as you like? Or is your Christmas party always in that hotel with that disco?

With that, you know, each employee is gets a bottle of wine? Or what are your Christmas gifts? What are your birthday gifts? How. Are you showing up in the place where, where the relationship with alcohol might not be controlled by you? If you are an employer, how are. Talking to your, taking care of the wellbeing of the people around you.

So it is really easy for us to say things like, oh yes, that company over there, they’re great employer. They offer a wellness day once a month. Or you get a free yoga class on a Thursday and access to a counseling service. But also you are expected to be to take your clients out for dinner and you’re expected to wine and dine them.

These things that don’t line up. Recognizing that there could well be people in the mix for whom alcohol they ha they have a problematic relationship with. Now, when I say problematic, I’m almost kind of reversing on myself here because. People don’t drink for all kinds of reasons. And it could be religious, they might be pregnant, they might have a medical condition.

They might just be choosing not to drink, not from a place of problematic, from a place of, it doesn’t align with my lifestyle choices. It’s no biggie. It’s just not part of who I am. And yet, and I’m gonna use a real blanket generalization here. As a society, we are really judgmental about people not drinking.

We wanna know why. And lemme tell you right now, the reason why somebody is not drinking is 100% nobody else’s business. But we still find ourselves there all the time. And it was one of the things that really stopped me from starting my journey about drinking less because I was worried about what other people were gonna think.

I was worried about other people’s judgment whilst not really recognizing that I was my own harshest judge. So to support people the very best, I think being open to the conversation to, you know, it depends what level of struggle you can see, but very often we end up in these loops of mental health going alongside a situation with alcohol.

Where are the bits that we can find a kind and gentle and compassionate opening into a conversation? Is our own lived experience that we can share with somebody else. If we see an avenue into a conversation that can be a bridge in between, how can we help somebody? Be able to say some of the things that are very often really difficult that might result in them being able to find the help and support that they need.

Yes.

Quianna: Oh, I love that you brought all of that up, because I feel like every single thing that you mentioned is a factor, like, like, wait, hold on. Before you just approach this person and share your concerns, like we have to look at the whole picture here and to see this lifestyle and work environment and.

Home life that they are exposed to. And, and like you mentioned too, like what is the culture? Like what, like what is normal for them where they may not even be aware that their, their choices are hindering their performance or hindering their ability to be fully themselves. Like this is crazy. And, and if we were to have this

Sarah: conversation, you, you could split it out and talk about who we show up as.

Professional life versus who we show up as in our personal life. And yet we are whole people. We don’t, we’re not split into, we don’t, 50% of of us does not walk into the office without the other 50%. So. You know, how do we consider human beings for everything that they are? And of course, you know, we might be saying, okay, I’m going into the office and I owe my company the eight hours of work that they are paying me from, from 8:00 AM in the morning till 5:00 PM at night, or whatever it is.

Apart from that, I owe them nothing of me and what I do outside of. Of course is my own business, and businesses would say as well, we can’t have conversations with our employees about alcohol because what they do in their personal time is up to them. You would care about other substances or other situations that were going on from, because we want the please, let’s hope.

We want the best for each other as human beings.

Quianna: Absolutely. And you’re right, when you start putting other substances on the table, it’s like, well, that can be brought up. Like that can be like, that’s a conversation that may not be allowed or accepted within your organization or your business. Wow, this is so good.

I love this conversation. Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay, so let’s say, let’s say that we have established, okay, cool. Like there’s someone in my life that I care deeply about and with love and grace let’s, you know, I just kinda wanna paint this picture here where it’s like, you know, work is work, they’re showing up, they’re doing great, but you just, you just want so much more for them.

What would you suggest? Like as an advocate for less drinking, let’s just say that. Less drinking, maybe not full sobriety, but you know, are there any tools or resources that you can share that the loved one could share with the one that they feel like just needs a little bit of help?

Sarah: I suppose my first point on this would be to say, go cautiously.

And if I speak from my own experience and recognizing the. That was to a degree, a turmoil when I was first back and forthing and deciding whether I was gonna run this experiment or not, whether I was gonna be successful, that choosing this, what was it gonna mean to me? I actually didn’t want anybody else’s input because.

I needed to get my own narrative straight, and I actually didn’t need or want input from anybody else. And what I needed to do was the research for myself for what I needed. So I guess if I look at it from that angle, I would say that for somebody who is in a relationship or cares very deeply for somebody that they’re worried about their situation with alcohol.

You can for sure tell them what your thoughts and feelings are for them. You can always tell somebody that, you know, I, I think I see you in this situation of. Perhaps drinking in a way to deal with your stress, or I’m guessing you are drinking like this because it’s helping you with the overwhelm. Hey, how can I help you?

Can I take something off your plate for you? Is there something that you are struggling with? What, what can I offer you as part of your support system? Hey, I know somebody who’s got a few good resources, and absolutely these resources are many and varied. And somebody might say to you, no, I don’t want any of your resources, which we are just gonna accept that and say, that’s fine.

But if you do want resources, there’s a whole genre of books called Who Knew Quit Lit. And these quit lit books are all of the books that are written either in the style of personal memoir about stopping drinking or in the style of slightly more scientific and talking more about the strategies and the impact of alcohol.

Podcasts. Many are varied, all for different kinds of tastes. We know we love a podcast right here. There are amazing blog writers, Instagram. There are creators who are always talking and using their kind of hashtags around alcohol free, sober curious, mindful drinking. And I think if you go into that kind of conversation from a place of.

As far as is humanly possible, non-judgment and just from a place of, Hey, I think I’m seeing this in you. Do you think I’ve got this any level of right? Do you want to tell me where I’m wrong on this? Shall we explore a little bit of this together and, and keep it, I guess, light and and spacious And also to be prepared to be knocked back, be and to be okay about being knocked back.

I think my probably worst. Nightmares lived in my head around the Googling that I had already done, which was where is my nearest AA meeting, and do I need to speak to my doctor about the amount I’m drinking? Because in reality, I didn’t want the answers to either of tho any of those questions I wanted and needed to find my own way for myself.

But you know what? I might have appreciated someone being showing me their love. As I went along on that road.

Quianna: Yes. Oh, I love that so much. And I love the way you beautifully explained that, and I’m even thinking right now, right? ’cause it’s easy for us looking on the outside, caring so deeply about a loved one or a coworker or someone close to our life that we, we just want to hug them and say, Hey, like clearly if something’s going on here, right?

Like before anything dangerous happens or anything out of our control. I love the fact that you mentioned, how can I help? And not in a, how can I help you? Like, you know, let’s go for a run instead of drinking, or let’s do an ice bath and maybe you’ll get a rush of feeling right? Like whatever that feels like.

But literally offering whether that is help with the kids or are you experiencing a financial stress? Like, how can I help? Like how can I make this difficult situation? Feel a little bit less overwhelming, right? Because that’s like you mentioned before, like that a lot of us go to the bottle or we go to a, a glass of wine to take that edge off.

Like, how can I be an edge taker offer for you, right? Like, how can I make this easier? Because I do think, and I know I have a very strong head, and I’m very strong-willed and I don’t like anybody telling me what to do. I, I take constructive criticism very to heart, and I’m a very sensitive person. So, you know, that runs in the family or you know that that is the people that I surround myself with.

Yes. I love that approach. I think that is so life-giving and way more approachable. Like way more approachable.

Sarah: Yep. And you allow yourself, you know, you can be okay with the being knocked back bit, you know, and be here in the background if now isn’t the right time, maybe it’s later on down the road and I’m just gonna be good with that.

Quianna: Well, thank you so much Sarah. You have been a wealth of knowledge and I love, I love sharing more about these topics where each of us truly can find full alignment, show up as our best self and, and have the tools and the action steps. To get started today, right? Just like you mentioned, I know on this podcast I’m always talking about business strategy action items and things to do to, you know, add to marketing and content.

And the fact that our conversation today is, well, we could just subtract something from your plate. Like we could just like subtract something is, is really uplifting. Like that feels good. So I appreciate you. So how can we connect with you, Sarah? How can we learn more?

Sarah: I’ve got resources, um, 3M paid for on my website, which you can find at Drink Less Live, better.com.

I’m also drink Less, live Better on Instagram and I’ve written a book, which, guess what that is called, drink Less Live, better available in all the places you might buy a book. So that has got loads of the strategies, tips, tools I’ve used myself, my lived experience and my professional experience and also my podcast, drink Less, live Better is.

Five minute episodes each week with just a little mindset shift, tool, technique, suggestion, bit of wisdom or an insight to help you on your journey.

Quianna: Incredible. Oh my gosh. And can you please share where you’re located? ’cause we love a beautiful accent, so I just would love to share where you’re tuning in from.

Sarah: Yes. I’m just outside of London. Um, I’m in the Surrey Hills, which is a beautiful bit of English countryside. Loads of woodland. Imagine a bit like. Widget. Oh, imagine that. But not that house, not that castle.

Quianna: Oh my gosh, that sounds incredible. It sounds like a fairytale. And I’m just so happy that we connected and thank you so much for this conversation.

I know, I know Having these conversations is not always easy and it can pull up a lot of emotions and fears and feelings and. All the things, but this is a safe place to have these conversations and I’m just so grateful for you today.

Sarah: Thank you. It’s been such a joy. Thank you for having me.

Quianna: Mm, that was a good one, and I’m so thankful you are here with us today.

If you found this conversation insightful and encouraging, please share your stories or even send it to your newsletter. Oh my gosh. That would be such a gift to share to your email list. Sending directly to a friend in need may feel like the best option for a direct line of help. But sometimes just sharing a resource for someone to tune into when they’re ready to make that change may be the best way to connect.

I know this conversation may feel a bit heavy, but I’m so thankful for Sarah and her delicate way of sharing some of these hard conversations. If you need a friend to talk to, please know that I am always, always, always, always here for you. I’m here to support your business and help you thrive through every season.

That includes the tough conversations too. None of this would be possible without you and your support. If you have just two minutes to leave a review, please head over to Apple or Google and drop that five star review with your favorite takeaway. This will help the show grow and radiate to connect with even more business owners and friends that may need the messages from today too.

Make sure to connect with Sarah online and pick up her book, drink Less, live Better. I’ll make sure to leave it in the show notes for you to grab as well. I am cheering for you, babe. You are incredible, and I am so, so grateful to do life and business with you. Keep on dancing, baby. Can’t wait to chat next week, Kay.

Love you. Bye. That’s a wrap on another episode of Kiana Marie Weekly. Thank you so much for your listenership and support. You can find the resources and show notes. For this episode and more at kiana marie.com/podcast, I’d be honored if you’d show your support by leaving a review and rating on your favorite podcast app.

Until next time, keep on on dancing.

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