Now more than ever, it is a necessity to be yourself and to create a foundation of acceptance in your business. In today’s Connection Call, I’m chatting with Bay Area photographer Jenni Chapman all about establishing an inclusive business and empowering your clients. Jenni is sharing key tips for confidence, as well as wedding trends to look out for and traditions to kick to the curb.

On Quianna Marie Weekly, we’re chatting about business growing pains, finding genuine connections, and celebrating wins of all sizes through the lens of a photographer at heart. Sprinkled throughout stories and interviews with past clients, photographers and other business owners this podcast is designed to help you step into your purpose and to truly create a life you’re proud of, a life worth photographing and sharing.

Make sure you’ve hit that follow or subscribe button on your favorite podcast player to get notified each week as we air new episodes!

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Today’s episode is brought to you by the FREE Book More Weddings guide. Learn how to easily capture behind the scenes video for organic referrals, local followers, and increased brand awareness. You want to make sure you have this before your next wedding! 

 

Review the Show Notes: 

Insights From Self-Love Self-Portraits (3:36)

Conceptualizing The Client’s Soul (7:25)

Celebrating All Love (12:52)

Key Considerations For Inclusive Photographers (15:48)

Learning To Be Confident In Yourself (22:52)

Wedding Trends To Look Out For (30:23)

Being Yourself Is A Necessity (34:55)

Key Tips from Jenni (37:36)

Connect with Jenni Chapman

Website 

TikTok

Instagram

The Queer Soul Spotlight Podcast

Review the Transcript:

Quianna Marie
This year one of my engagement sessions was rained out and after flying back home to Arizona I scrambled to find a photographer local to the San Jose and Santa Cruz California area to help capture a sunny and vibrant shoot for my couple in the sand. Thankfully, my friend and favorite Bay Area makeup artists Kim Baker shared a referral and I was blown away by Jenny, her heart and photography. Jenny Chapman is a talented, LGBTQ+ friendly Bay Area photographer that focuses on couples engagements, elopements, editorial and creative portraits.

Both Jenni and I share a passion for making everyone around us feel loved, seen and accepted simply being themselves. We believe you are worthy, beautiful and deserve to let your light shine. When I started stalking Jenny and her tick tock her website Instagram and social media presence. I instantly felt her passion for celebrating milestones like coming out getting engaged to the love of your life, photographing the day you promise forever with your best friend and capturing your growing family.

In this episode, we’ll be chatting all about giving yourself permission to be photographed and planning creative shoots just because and why it’s important to schedule a shoot to feel empowered, juice up your self love and help identify your essence with creativity. Jenni will also be sharing how she helps boost the confidence of her clients, perfect for photographers to take notes, and to remind anyone before they step in front of the camera or walk out their front door.

We’ll also be sharing helpful tips and words of wisdom for truly making your business and ally for the LGBTQ plus community. Not just for Pride Month this June, but for a foundation of acceptance throughout the year and for generations to come. Stick around for a handful of wedding trends to watch out for and for the tradition to kick to the curb.

Let’s share a warm welcome with confetti flying for Jenni Chapman.

Welcome to Quianna Marie Weekly, a podcast for creatives who love to celebrate wins big or small by dancing in the kitchen photographers who are excited to serve their clients and friends who are ready to chase really, really big dreams. You can find all of the resources mentioned in this episode at Kiana murray.com/podcast. Join me as I share weekly motivation, chat about growing pains, finding genuine connections and celebrating your wins through the lens of a photographer at heart. Come join me for a dance party. Ready? Let’s go. All right. All right. Welcome to the party. Jenny, thank you so much for joining.

Jenni Chapman
Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to like actually talk to you. Yes,

Quianna Marie
this is officially our very first time seen each other face to face. It absolutely is!! We’ve already talked so much. So it’s very cool to like, actually have a real person conversation.

Quianna Marie
Yes. Oh, my goodness. Well, I’m so grateful for Kim Baker for introducing us and for you helping second shoe in assists with a recent engagement session. So thank you so much for that

Speaker 2
one. No, thank you. I mean, I got to make friends with them. And with you like it was just a connection party.

Quianna Marie
Yes, exactly what we’re so grateful. And one thing I noticed because you know, as soon as I meet someone new, or I get a recommendation from a friend, I am a big time stalker. Like when it comes to social media.

Speaker 2
I’m going back years, I’m like, what, what did you do this time five years ago? I want to know,

Quianna Marie
yes, I want to know all the juicy details. And that’s one thing that I honestly just fell in love with you from your social media presence. And one thing that I noticed, I know you have a lot going on, and we can’t wait to chat and all the fun things. But I noticed that you have been doing a lot of monthly creative shoots, like like self portraits. So can you please share, as you’ve been doing these what has like been brought to light for you? What have you learned from these experiences?

Speaker 2
For sure? Well, this is actually something I attempted to do last year and then fell off the bandwagon immediately. Around April actually, so I’m keeping it going this year. It I’ve always wanted to do something challenging like that. I love being in front of the camera, but I’m so busy doing my actual business of having other people in front of the camera that I don’t really get in front of the camera a lot. This This project is sort of twofold for me.

So one, like one of the favorite kinds of shoots that I do are these creative conceptual, like self love photoshoots. And I have a ton of ideas, but it’s it’s sort of growing in popularity doing these sorts of things. Because often there isn’t a huge reason behind it, right?

You get engagement photos because you’re engaged you have newborn photos because you add a whole frickin baby like these sort of highly conceptual fantastical self portrait shoots or self Love photo shoots for someone else. Maybe it’s your birthday, maybe you’re coming out for the first time, maybe it’s just for fun, like, I don’t know. And so I have all these ideas. But I think in order for it to grow in popularity, we need to show potential clients, what is possible.

It’s so hard to take something and I’ll talk about this a little bit later. With the personal experience, it’s hard to take something that is entirely invisible, like your soul and your personality and like what makes you you and translate it to something entirely visible like a photo shoot. And if that is not something you do regularly, I have people coming to me being like, I want to do a photo shoot that represents me that is high concept that is editorial.

I don’t know what I want or what that is. And so it’s my job to help them translate that. And in doing these shoots with myself, it’s an opportunity for me to jump into ideas that I’d love to show people like this is something we can do, or honestly try out things that I’ve never tried out before.

I never try anything new with paying clients. Because if it goes very badly, then we’re screwed. So it’s fun, because it’s incredibly low stakes, as opposed to something like a wedding that is incredibly high stakes. I’m just messing around in my studio or on location somewhere. And we see what happens. So it’s a really fun opportunity to try new things. I have one my portrait for this month for April that I haven’t posted yet. I actually created some clouds out of foam domes from Michaels and like batting. My photographer friend, Sophie Lasher, taught me how to make them. And so it’s April showers and then may will be made flowers. But I’ve never done that before. And I didn’t know if they would turn out. So it’s it’s it’s a workshop for me, but also showing people all of what is possible in this kind of photography.

Quianna Marie
That’s incredible. And I feel like that’s a beautiful example of you doing it. Like you actually saying, hey, I want to conceptualize this for someone who is looking to, to be transparent to showcase to highlight and to celebrate their soul. But a lot of times people just can’t visualize it. They don’t have that artistic creativity, right?

Speaker 2
They’re like, I like blue and dogs. Like okay, cool, great.

Quianna Marie
It’s so true. And I think that’s such a beautiful thing that you can, you know, so like, how do you pull it out of people? Like how do you

Speaker 2
have tools? So it’s honestly, like, I do two things. First thing I do is I have sort of created a Buzzfeed style multiple choice quiz. Although there’s not really like an a response at the end of like, you’re this kind of person, it’s more of I literally walk them through the different questions, there’s questions of like, which house would you rather live in? What color palette? speaks most to you? How would you describe yourself in a few words, like with options, and what happens is, as we go through, I get an idea. People are able to answer those minut questions about themselves, because it’s like fun, and simple. But I get an overall picture. And so some of the things are like, you know, would you rather live in the city or the country, and that doesn’t really have to do with the photoshoot. But like by the end, I’m showing pictures of different photoshoots and going Which one do you see yourself in. And so that sort of gives me an overall idea of if this is a complete stranger who they are to themselves who they are in their life to other people, and sort of what they how they perceive themselves.

Then the next step is I have this gigantic, like hundreds of pins, Pinterest board, that is just wild inspiration. So all different kinds of photoshoots, indoors outdoors, whatever, all different kinds of people, all different sizes, shapes, colors, abilities, genders, everything. And so we literally go through, and I say, okay, you don’t need to know why something speaks to you. But if something’s you don’t have to explain it to me, because most of the time, they can’t tell me which ones speak to you. I’m gonna throw them in a folder. And once we go through all of them, we just throw things in a folder, and then we go look at the folder, and there’s always a through line. And that is the concept. Then we flush it out and it’s fun. We times that times a million and it’s great.

But so that is really easy way where they don’t even understand what is aesthetically meaningful to them. Because there’s not a photographer who comes up with these things, that’s fine. But you still have those gut instincts of what is going to be meaningful to you, even if you can’t explain it. And so then by showing it to them at the end, showing them the folder, they go, Oh my God, it’s neons and arcade things and like seven days I’m like, great. So that’s your concept. They couldn’t do that. Pulling it out just looking. But you have it all come together and they’re like, Oh my God, that’s what it was the whole time. Please excuse my cat screaming.

Jenni Chapman
Okay, he wants to join the conversation. He’s in a lot of episodes of my podcast as well. Because I love that,

Quianna Marie
well, I think that’s so, so incredible that you are not only creating this safe space for others to, to just get creative, and I love how you mentioned before, like, there doesn’t have to be a reason. Like, we don’t have to wait for these milestones or have to wait for these special events. It is such a beautiful thing to create and to capture your soul. exactly where you are right now. And I just I love that you’re celebrating that. Yeah, and

Speaker 2
a lot of people come to me honestly, for creative photoshoots or otherwise, not feeling great about themselves and being like, you know, everyone looks so great in your photos. Like they look like models or whatever. Heads up. I’m not gonna look like that I’m not super photogenic. I don’t really like the way I look. But like, you seem cool. And I’m like, Okay, pull up my Instagram, where are the models, point them out to me.

They’ll be like, Oh, those ones are clearly models like me, you know what they said to me, I don’t really feel good about myself. I’m pretty on photogenic, blah, blah, blah, being photogenic can be taught. If you are guided? Well, I think genuinely, everyone is beautiful in their own way. And so it’s about, you know, every photo, I can take a picture of a roll of toilet paper, it’ll be good, because I know how to take pictures. Hurray.

But the thing that is going to make your photos meaningful to you, and something that you can look at and be like, Oh, my God, like, that’s me, inside and out, is how you feel when we’re taking the pictures. Like I can edit out little stray hairs and whatever. If you are miserable, I cannot help you, your photos will not be good.

Again, they’ll be technically good, but like you’ll hate them. And so and I’m sure you agree, it’s our job as photographers to foster an environment from the first email where they are comfortable, where they feel empowered, where they can be vulnerable and ask questions.

So by the time that they’re actually in front of your camera, they feel super confident, maybe a little nervous, but they’re like, there’s that level of trust, right? And then when you start walking them through, like, here’s some really easy posing prompts, surprise, you don’t need to be America’s Next Top Model. We’re just going to kind of hang out. And then you show them on the back of your camera how freaking good they look. And they’re like, I look like that.

I’m like, Yeah, I have any, it’s on the back of my camera, I haven’t even edited it. That’s just what you look like. And that is where the Switch comes, where they’re like, oh my god, like, I am super gorgeous, I look happy, I look comfortable. And then they feel more comfortable leaning into more creative posing or running into the water or trying different things because they have proof that they are just like all the other people that they saw that look amazing and look so joyful.

Quianna Marie
Yes, I love that. Well, one thing or two things that you mentioned, to help build up confidence when your clients are in front of your camera was trust, and that safety, right and that like creativity to be themselves. So what are some ways that you you build that trust, like you mentioned, you know, the client flow, right, so from that first initial email or dem they, they’re, they’re already feeling hurt, they’re feeling like they’re feeling seen, that’s like a big one for me, right?

How To Build Trust With Your Clients

Jenni Chapman
being perceived as the worst like, and especially if it’s something like an engagement or your wedding. You’re unless you know, a wedding photographer, you are inviting a total stranger into a very vulnerable day. Especially like, from my own perspective, like as a queer person. That is you’re you’re already operating in a world where you need to be careful about safety with strangers, and how out are you going to be?

How open are you going to be and you’re perceiving your sort of rating, your safety and whatever situation you’re in. And so now you’re having this day that is entirely about like, we are getting queer, married, and very vulnerable about your relationship and maybe you don’t even have your entire family willing to support you. And suddenly you’re inviting random strangers and hoping that they’re okay with it. Which is why I love working with other queer people so much as a queer non binary person myself. That hurdle is already cleared with me.

Dude, I am in the same boat as you. I am you’re not going to be misgendered you are not going to be ma’am surd inappropriately like it’s it’s you’re not going to get weird questions. You’re not going to know how does it work like Oh, could I join like gross things that people say or whatever like or even just the simplest like, oh my god hey girl, and it’s like that’s, that’s a non binary person.

Don’t say that. So like that discomfort or the emotional labor that you need to put in to educate somebody in an already very vulnerable space like a wedding or a couple session that is immediately taken off your plate as a client with me, because I already know I already I already know so very much i And so that’s that’s been really, really special to me to connect with queer individuals and couples and families, to mom, families do dad families like all sorts of different things and families, and how grateful they are for a space where they don’t need to worry about that.

Because aside from like, in the privacy of your own home, especially these days, those spaces exist less and less. So it’s just really, really special to get to celebrate love that is so important to me personally, and getting to empower them in that way.

How To Find LGBTQ+ Friendly Vendors

Quianna Marie
Yes, well, so you are located in like San Jose Bay Area. And, you know, of course, I’m sure you’re open for traveling, like, let’s, let’s pack our bags. But what would be your advice for someone who is listening? Who may want to reach out to another photographer in their local hometown?

What are some ways because I know personally, and this can get a little touchy, but I just want to be totally transparent. And like, ask these genuine questions, please. There are vendors that will just put a rainbow flag on something and they they’re they’re accepting.

Yes, these LGBTQ plus in these queer communities. But but we don’t know. Right? Like, just like you said, like, this technically is a stranger on the internet, like they may take our money, but are they truly going to have a genuine heart and make us feel safe and make us feel accountable and be very proactive? about putting us at like specific locations? So we feel safe? So like, what advice would you give to someone that is looking for that safety space? With like, just the wild internet? Like, how do we find new people?

Speaker 2
Haha, it’s crazy. I experienced that a lot in planning my own wedding of, you know, we went to a venue that we fell in love with and they were, they had the, you know, on the knot, like we are, we’re forming we went and when they knew who you are, within five minutes, they asked if we were sisters, and then told us we couldn’t get ready together. Because we’re both girls and can’t do that. And they’re like, which one of you wants to groom space? And we were like, No, and it was just like, incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. It’s like any anybody can say they’re affirming and and it’s one thing to be someone who’s like, why I don’t hate the gays like so therefore I’m cool with them. As opposed to someone who is educated ready to go, who is actually actively empowering queer people.

The general I mean, this is the story goes both ways. This is tips for people looking for these vendors and also tips for these vendors to find these people. First of all, you need to find actual queer people and use them in your portfolio even if that means doing a model call. I very much am paranoid about reaching out to photographers or videographers or whatever that don’t actively and in multiple spaces show visibly queer people in their marketing because it shows you’ve done it before. Also, I It’s so so common for like inquiry forums for wedding vendors to be like bride’s name groom’s name, or like fiance with one e fiance with two E’s.

That’s immediate. I will not be working with you if you have a gendered form. It’s not even hard. Like you literally just say like your name, your partner’s name or like, you know, spouse, one, spouse two, like there’s a million different ways that you can avoid that. Or like, a lot of wedding photographers. Yes, I’m calling up specifically photographers. I was like, Oh My Brides, blah, blah, blah. Oh my god. Hey, brides talking to you, brides. And it’s like, okay, one even for straight people.

Let’s norm normalize the groom’s giving a shit about their own wedding. Like straight dudes can care. let’s normalize that. But also there’s weddings that have only grooms. And there’s weddings that have no brides at all, but also no grooms because non binary people. And so it’s if you’re not upfront using neutral language, great people don’t give a shit they’re gonna pass you by.

Also, once you’ve gotten the inquiry, and you’re, you know, going further into conversations with people asking what language they’d like to use, I think a lot of cisgender straight people are very hesitant to ask questions because they don’t want to appear ignorant. But a lot of times ignorance is just by accident based on your geography or your growing up not around queer people like it’s not intentional ignorance. It’s just you haven’t had the opportunity and I’m here to say, queer people love getting these questions like What are your pronouns? How would you like to be referred to in terms of gendered language?

You know, my fiance and I are both assigned female at birth people and our lovely vendors are like, Are you both being refer to as bride which we both are, but plenty of non very binary people would not want to do that. And it’s it’s never, never never offensive to ask what they prefer. And then honoring that. That is, if you are worried about like, Oh, I feel like I should already know and like I’m even and then you do it wrong because you didn’t bother to ask that is what’s offensive. So I definitely empower you to like, ask the questions, and then obviously follow through and use the language that they prefer that they would feel empowered by. And that’s a great way to make where people feel seen.

Quianna Marie
That’s amazing. And I feel like we just have to kind of repeat that really fast that it’s actually encouraged to ask questions, like, it’s encouraged to engage, it’s encouraged to, to build that relationship and just start that open dialogue.

Jenni
It’s incredibly respectful honestly, like, if you can’t tell, I mean, you can never tell but you know, if you don’t feel safe, assuming someone’s pronouns, based on how they look what you should never feel comfortable assuming that, like, yeah, ask and honestly offer your pronouns as well. Like, even if you are the most cisgender lady in the whole world, be like, Hey, I’m Brittany, my pronouns, are she her? What are yours? Like creating an environment where the queer people don’t feel othered?

Obviously, don’t be like, so how does the sex work? Like, obviously, that’s not appropriate, but in especially in terms of gendered language, or non gendered language, you know, like, just asking and allowing space for them to tell you what is correct, is honestly the most empowering thing because they don’t need to worry about that your the vendor is going to be guessing and guessing wrong, and they would need to like, correct them. There’s so many queer people that are so exhausted from being misgendered or using wrong incorrect language, that they just won’t correct you.

They don’t have the energy. And so you’ll never know. And then you will feel bad forever. So honestly, yes. Ask ask open the space, open the dialog with very open ended questions. How would you like me to refer to you? What are your pronouns in terms of how you are identifying on your wedding day or whatever? What language do you want me to use? And then actively correct. The other vendors, or the other guests be do the damage control for the couple? Because they don’t want to do that?

Quianna Marie
Yes, these are all incredible reminders for not only photographers and wedding vendors,

Jenni Chapman
anybody. You just meet some random person at a party and you’re like, Oh, my pronouns are this pronoun check. What are your pronouns? Like, that’s the coolest thing ever, especially if you’re CES.

Quianna Marie
I love that. Well, so you’ve walked us through a lot of like tools and opportunities and ways that you can get your clients feeling really comfortable and confident in front of the camera. And I just want to ask you, where does your confidence come from, because I see you shining online, and I, as being someone, you know, in the small business, that I’m marketing and building content for myself, like, sometimes I even myself can come off confident, and I don’t always feel that way. Like I have my own self conscious things. I’m like, insecure about some things.

So I just want to throw that on the table that like, I understand that maybe may not always be that competent, but where, like, where did you learn to be you? And, and like, where did this confidence come from?

Where Did You Learn To Be YOU?

Jenni Chapman

Quite honestly, I faked it a lot, most of mine. But I actually was, I figured out I was autistic. This summer, I turned 25. And that was the single most empowering thing that has ever happened to me. Because I my whole life had been super, super confusing, because I wasn’t understanding different misunderstandings that I had had with people or like, why it seemed that I was operating on completely different brain software than everyone else.

Once I figured that out, and started learning more about autism in general, but also just how my own brain works, and how I can create systems in my life, that empower me and enable me to regulate and like I work for myself, I run my own schedule, like that has been awesome. I was never going to be an office person. But like, you know, here we are. And that was really the start of it, because I realized as I think this has been really true for a lot of people.

Because this coincided with the little pandemic that we have been having, specifically like when we were all trapped at home. I think a lot of people there’s been a huge surge in people getting various neurodivergent diagnoses. And what happened is we all stopped being perceived, and we all stopped being who we thought we need it to be for other people. We all kind of realized that who we are when we are not being perceived is wildly different than the person we thought we were. And realizing like I feel like In tandem with my diagnosis and not being perceived.

I actually met myself for the first time, and got to see who I was when I wasn’t trying to fit the mold of who other people wanted me to be. And I actually really like myself, which is super cool. And just like stripped down, like, I don’t have my job, because no one is working, I don’t have like I do theater, like, I don’t have any of the things that previously have defined who I am.

So I am like, entirely stripped down to just who I am as a human being. And I got to meet them. And that was so cool. And I really like who I am. And so that sort of just super empowered me to, it’s the thing that everyone sort of had with the pandemic neurodivergent or otherwise, that like, we all sort of came face to face with mortality a little bit. And, and we realize how little time we actually have. And it really was this wake up moment for me of like, I don’t have time to be anyone but myself.

I’m going to be really aggressive about who I am. Because it simultaneously, you know, you receive the energy you put out, right? So it simultaneously brings all these amazing people into my life. And probably more importantly, scares off the people that I probably shouldn’t be wasting my time on. And so as soon as I stopped trying to be an overbearing people pleaser, and was just like, This is who I am, if you like it great if you don’t go away, and my life has gotten so much better, like my life was already good. But like, I’ve become so much happier and so much more confident, honestly.

I feel like it’s a lot of inner child work. And I sort of honed it on my personal style and you know, wearing outfits that little me would be like, Yes, I got Yeah, like really, really just understanding and knowing that, quite literally no one ever thinks about you. No one is wasting their time analyzing everything that you do, like we all think that we are. You might as well as long as you’re not hurting anybody or yourself, you might as well just do what you like. And that has been really empowering. I love giving that gift to other people as well through, like lift example and connecting with people.

Quianna Marie
I love that so much. And you’re right. I feel like this quarantine and this recent pandemic Lovato like I like to call it like yeah, it’s it’s really how to reflect on things and put things into perspective on who we are what we’re doing, right. Like I love that you mentioned So can I ask you pre pandemic? Were you were you working for an office? Like, did you have another job? Or how long?

What Lead You To Entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2
No, no, I was never gonna be able to do that. No, I’ve essentially been a photographer, I guess full time as an I never had another job. But like, I certainly wasn’t working full time. I was kind of waiting around for people to hire me. I’ve been doing this for 10 years. Which is crazy because I look 16 I am turning 28 this year. So yeah, literally since my senior year of high school, I’ve been a photographer. I went balls to the wall full time I’m doing this like let’s get educated.

Let’s figure this out. This is now I’m going into my third year. But I’ve been sharp for forever. And it’s so cool because it fills my creativity bucket the same way that theater does. I majored in musical theater. I thought I was gonna be on Broadway. That is very silly. I probably could be on Broadway, but I’m a little neurodivergent for that. And that’s fine. Also, I hate New York and it’s fine. But it has sort of filled the creativity bucket that theater does. And and does the same feeling of connecting with people that theater does. And it works for me on so many levels.

I’m really aside from weddings only working with one or two people at a time. I don’t do well in super big crowds. I really don’t shoot weddings over 100 guests. And I get to be creative and connect people and empower them. Drinking Game everyone take a shot every time someone on this podcast episode says empowered. You know what I mean? Like it’s it’s exactly who I am as a person and I saw it tick tock yesterday, literally last night and like midnight, about how a lot of changemakers and I guess famous people but like people who have made a big impact on the world have known from a young age that they were meant to have a big life.

I have always felt that I was meant to live a big life. And I thought that meant being famous on Broadway and that’s clearly not going to happen. But I honestly feel like I’m doing something bigger than that in just especially my work with queer people like creating an a creative playground where they can really lean into the parts of themselves that they are perhaps just now discovering and really celebrate In those pieces of themselves, especially in a world and a country that is so actively trying to destroy that. So it’s really, really, I love what I do. I really love what I do. This is my absolute dream gig. I’m here.

Quianna Marie
Not amazing. I love this. And I’m so happy because it really is encouraging for others to, to step into what they’re called to do, right. Oh my gosh. So I’d love to chat with you about wedding traditions. And some, like some of these trends that you see coming. I love that you mentioned that you really thrive in more elopement styles, like 100 Guests are less, more intimate weddings. So what type of trend should we be looking for in this next year? Like, what are what are some things we’re tossing? What are some things we’re keeping? What are your thoughts?

Wedding Trends + Traditions

Jenni

Okay? And I, I’m going to even say this more aggressively to straight and cisgender people, because queer people that most of the traditions didn’t work already. Because it’s very much one man, one woman. So Hurray, we’re already throwing traditions in the trash. But I highly I see a lot.

I highly encourage cisgender and straight people to take a look at every piece of your wedding as you’re planning, and do some research and see what’s behind the traditions and keep them if you want, honestly. But keeping them not because it’s what you’re supposed to do, quote unquote, but keeping them because they are genuinely meaningful to you. Like my, my fiancee, and I were getting married in September, and like, we are both being walked down the aisle by our parents, and it’s great, and we’re gonna stand at the front and it’s gonna be great. But like, you know, garter DOS, first of all, I don’t care who you are, the garter toss is stupid.

No one wants to see you do that. Thank you. That is my humble, correct opinion. No one wants to see you do that. But like, I’ve seen, one thing that we’re doing is audience vows guest vows. So like, before we do our personal vows, we will be turning to everyone that is there with us. And they will be repeating after our efficient officiant people at Tiktok.

Yell at me for how I say the word efficient. Your officiant will be telling them like, you know, we support we promised to support this couple through hard times and whatever. Because the fact is, a wedding is about so much more than just the two of you like it’s everyone that has made you who you are and the people that are your village going forward. And again, we’re only inviting, like 50 people. So all these people are like desperately important to us.

So that’s one trend that I’ve been seeing a lot that I absolutely love. I actually found out about that, because it happened at a wedding, I was shooting. And I was like, oh, copy paste to my wedding. And I love that I love elopements and micro weddings that are just so anti tradition. I shot in a moment i i talk about it every podcast I’m on.

They did just the two of them and their siblings and their siblings, spouses. It was like seven people in me. On the beach, they created a threshold with driftwood that elements of the four elements on the threshold. And then at the end of the ceremony, they jumped over the threshold to as a threshold crossing, they were married, stripped to their skivvies and ran into the ocean in December. God bless them. I did like I’m not getting in the water. I’ll take pictures of you in the water, though. That was, those are all things that are incredibly important to them as a couple and also individual people. And I just met these people. And I was like this is so them.

Maybe that’s not what you do. But I just want to you know, with the way that the wedding industry is priced, and the way that traditions are aging very poorly, like I want to empower absolutely take a shot, I want to let everyone know, like, it’s your frickin day, do whatever you want. Like if you want to run into the ocean, great if you want to have 5000 of your closest friends and have a rave, great.

If you want to go to a chapel and have a priest do his thing. Great. Like I’m not knocking it, it’s just make sure that each piece that you’re doing is genuinely meaningful to you. Because, again, it’s your day, it’s supposed to be about you. And if you’re just doing things because you think that’s it’s the way it’s always been. Well, there’s a lot of things that are the way they’ve always been and we should change them.

So let’s also do that to weddings. I love I love the individuality and the color and the individual elements that are so unique to each couple that I’m seeing a lot more of I think that’s that’s really really cool. No one’s doing cookie cutter weddings anymore. No one’s got the time or the money frankly. Yeah,

Quianna Marie
let’s be a little more creative. Well, the one thing I noticed throughout this whole string so one thing I love to do By just you know, I’m trying to pay attention to a little things that we’re sharing is you really DO have this strain of being you. And that is like the fabric and everything that you do Jenni, everything from your own creative shoots to embracing and celebrating the individuals in your photoshoots and all of your events and celebrations that you’re doing. Like, it’s such a beautiful thing to simply empower and step into your power to get shot. And I just wanted to highlight that as you know, as we start to kind of wrap up the conversation because I just feel like, oh my gosh, like it truly is a gift that you’re giving to anyone that comes into your circle, that it’s it’s an honor and it is an it is a duty at this point to be yourself and I just think that’s beautiful.

Jenni Chapman
Yeah, no, absolutely. And that is and this is you know, very, uh, not metaphorical, but it feels exaggerated but it’s not that is what is going to save this country is and I see it so much in Gen Z and even Gen Alpha like these kids are so aggressive about who they are in the best way and they are not going to lie down and take what how things have always been and and anything I can do to through my lived example or through you having an experience with me doing photography or even just like being my friend, like anything I can do to give that power to people where like you don’t even have to be like me.

I hope you’re not that would be weird like whatever little bits of yourself that you’re chipping away at to figure out who you are, like anything I can do to take those you know hold those pieces of you and just times them by a million and put it on crack like that we need that we need people who are not conforming who are our challenging people who are saying that it needs to be the way that it’s always been because the fact is it is the year of our Lord 2023 We can do better and I think that is sort of my purpose on this planet or whatever it’s like to give that gift to people and show through my own life like how powerful that can be in whatever form that takes yeah

Quianna Marie
oh my gosh well that is incredible. So I one question I love to ask all guests and every all my friends and everyone that comes on like you guys really are my real life influencers like I feel like influencers and influencing like it really does get tossed around the internet and sometimes it totally has a bad rap right like using influencers in the wild like people are making fun of us all the time. But i i Stand by like you said like we’re making a difference and we’re showing up so if you have a key tip that you would love to share either with your younger self or with anyone you know with entrepreneurship or just living your truth and being you what key tip would you love to share with everyone today?

Key Tip:

Jenni Chapman

Well first of all I think there’s big capital I influencers and little eye influencers and I think the capital I influencers are the people that are like biting my lip gloss and like I’m gonna sell you this mattress. And it’s I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with being a little I influencer like I would love to actually influence people. I’m not trying to sell you a Casper mattress. And anything that I do try to sell you I actually genuinely believe in. But um, I guess my tip would just be that two things.

One, your gut instinct is almost always right about other people about yourself. Listen to that and deconstruct things that you’re getting those, you know, someone’s presenting something to you and you’re like, Yeah, gut instinct, like really deconstruct the way that the things that we take for granted that this is how society is built. This is how things are. Really take a look. Because it’s not that great. So yeah, listen to your gut. And I guess this is more of like life advice. If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time and that goes both ways.

If someone shows you that they are a great person, believe them if someone shows you that they are not a great person. We don’t have a lot of time here and you don’t need to be giving people a chance after chance when they clearly don’t deserve your your time. Yeah, believe people because often they’ll show you they’ll show you and that’s that’s sort of what talking about earlier like you get the energy you put back out into the universe and so the right people will find you sometimes only for a season but you know the right people will find you and if you really lean into who you are you’ll also scare the wrong people away, which is fantastic. Yeah. Okay.

Let me buy everybody. And that’s that’s all there is to life. I think that’s the only piece of advice you ever need also buy good toilet paper. Yes. Don’t wait. I think people always wait. They’re like, oh, like not for toilet paper specifically, but like, I’ll be happy when I’m older. I’ll travel when I’m retired. Like, no, none of that is promise. And so do it now. The money will come back. Be responsible, but the money will come back. Live your life now. Cuz life is crazy. Yeah.

Quianna Marie
No, I love that. Well, thank you so much, Jenny for taking the time to chat with us today and sharing about your life sharing about your mission you are making this like your daily life truly is acted out like in your mission. I think that’s incredible. And so how can people find you I know like on your Instagram and on your posts and stuff. You Oh, you’re always posting these really fun and engaging graphics and inspiring things. So yeah, how can people get a taste of Jenny, please?

Speaker 2
You can find me on Instagram and Tiktok is just at Jenni Chapman photography. That’s J-E-N-N-I and then I you can find me there. JenniChapmanPhotography.com is my website. You can see my work and stuff. And some may a little inquiry though be cool. Um, that’s kind of it. I’m also on Pinterest. If you want to follow me on Pinterest.

But yeah, I post Tech Talks pretty much every day. I have one go viral recently. I think my tech talks are cool. I’ve had some kids tell me my tech talks are cool. So that must mean you’re really fast. So yeah, it was a family. I did a family session. They were like what you have tick tock. And it turns out they were both already following me. And they knew who I was. And they didn’t make the connection. But like, they were like, it’s you. And I was like, Yes, it is me famous tick tock. Oh, my God, they would have loved that. But ya know, I like to hang out. And I do a lot of like wedding tips and behind the scenes and also just me being stupid on the internet. And it’s a good time,

Quianna Marie
Your podcast, too. I want to make sure that your podcast is mentioned!

Jenni Chapman

I’m on hiatus right now. So I totally forgot. That’s even a thing? Yes, yes, I’m about to in a couple of weeks, I’m gonna start season three of the queer soul spotlight, which is available on Anchor Apple podcasts and Spotify. Basically, I talk to a queer person every week. And we talk about like, queer joy and how they identify and we learn things. And we talked about how there’s infinite ways to be queer, and all these different really cool ways that these people are building lives for themselves, where they can thrive and creating that sort of intersectional representation that we very desperately need.

Quianna Marie
Awesome!! Well, thank you so much, Jenny. You are amazing. And so, so grateful for

Jenni Chapman

Alrighty, have a great day, BYE!

Quianna Marie
I am so grateful you can join this conversation and I hope it helped open your eyes and hearts to making this world a safer, more welcoming place for all of us to thrive. Your Jenny is out there baby she may be making tiktoks in her kitchen photographing destination elopements or hanging out with her cat. But her batteries are charged, anxious to capture your light and help you feel perfectly you.

Thank you for listening. I appreciate you beyond words. If you enjoyed this conversation and want more people to tune in, please screenshot and share what you’re doing while you’re listening. We would love to see it and we’ll happily share. Keep on dancing baby! K, love you, bye.

That’s a wrap on another episode of Kiana Murray weekly. Thank you so much for your listenership and support. You can find the resources and show notes for this episode and more at Kiana murray.com/podcast. I’d be honored if you show your support by leaving a review and rating on your favorite podcast app. Until next time, keep on dancing.

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