From photographer to community builder to author, my dear friend Natalie isn’t afraid to go after what she wants. With the power that is radical curiosity, she’s achieved so much in her lifetime, but humbly credits those around her for so much of what she’s accomplished. In today’s episode, I’m asking Natalie some of the tough questions about building community, navigating relationships with those who aren’t supportive, and creating boundaries.

If you’re loving Quianna Marie Weekly, make sure you’re following the podcast on Apple Podcast App or Spotify, leave me a rating & review, and connect with me on Instagram! You can view more episodes from this podcast here.

Natalie Franke Hayes is an entrepreneur, mobilization marketer, community builder, and neuroscience nerd. As one of the Founders of the Rising Tide Society, the Head of Community at HoneyBook, and author of Built to Belong, she leads tens of thousands of creatives and small business owners while fostering a spirit of community over competition around the world.

Show Notes:

Creating Value with Photography (1:48)

Using Your Gifts (5:48)

Radical Curiosity (7:55)

Making Changes & Serving Well (12:14)

Navigating Friendships that Don’t Align with Your Dreams (17:20)

Juggling Priorities & Creating Boundaries (26:00)

Built to Belong by Natalie Franke (33:25)

Key Tip (37:25)

Connect with Natalie:

instagram.com/nataliefranke

nataliefranke.com

Buy the Book:

Built to Belong

Review the Transcript:

Quianna Marie
I am beyond grateful and honored to introduce Natalie as my very first guest on the podcast. As promised, I will be introducing you to the incredible souls and the most influential people that have impacted my life. Natalie is right up there and I cannot wait to introduce you. Natalie frankies is an entrepreneur, mobilization marketer, community builder, and neuroscience nerd. As one of the founders of the rising tide society, the head of community at honeybook, and author of built to belong, she leads 10s of 1000s of creatives and small business owners, while fostering a spirit of community over competition around the world. Okay, these are the details that you can find about Natalie on her website, and all the accolades that will be on the dust jacket of her newly published book built to belong. But I wanted to give you a little bit more of a backstory on Natalie, and just share that she truly is the soul sister, and a friend that you absolutely didn’t know that you needed in your life. To know Natalie is to know someone, when you first meet her, she’s going to be that bright smile that makes you feel like you belong. And what I love about Natalie is she has that presence, whether it’s online or in person, which is incredible that she’s the same person, online and in real life. But she makes you feel like you are accepted and loved for exactly as you are, but has this incredible magic way of agitating you enough to actually chase those wild dreams that are placed on your heart for a reason. So, as promised, I cannot wait to introduce you and let’s just get the conversation started.

Quianna Marie
Welcome to Quianna Marie weekly, a podcast for creatives who love to celebrate wins, big or small, by dancing in the kitchen photographers who are excited to serve their clients and friends who are ready to chase really, really big dreams. You can find all the resources mentioned in this episode, quiannamarie.com/podcast. Join me as I share weekly motivation and chat about growing things. Finding genuine connection and celebrating your wins through the lens of a photographer at heart. Come join me for a dance party. Ready? Oh, let’s go.

Quianna Marie
Good morning, Natalie. How’s it going?

Natalie Franke
It’s going great.

Quianna Marie
Oh, my goodness, I cannot thank you enough for being my very first interview on this new podcast, this new passion project. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Natalie Franke
This is a podcast that we’ve needed for a long time. So really, I want to thank you. I’m so honored to be your first guest. And I can’t wait. I’m so excited for this conversation.

Quianna Marie
Thank you so so much. Let’s just dive in. Because I know you’re a busy girl. I mean, you have so much going on. You’re impacting the world. And you are growing eyeballs and elbows right now. So let’s just dive right into this. And let’s just get going. Oh my goodness. So tell me Natalie, we have a lot in common as far as starting out as photographers and picking up that camera. And, and just falling in love with the love of photography and connection. So I’d love to chat with you about what is it about your camera? And what is it about people that sparked that much joy in brought you out? Like, I don’t want to say out of the darkness, but more into the light, right? Like how did that happen?

Natalie Franke
Yes. So for me a camera gives us the ability to communicate in a different way. And as an early kind of stage in my career, when I was just starting in photography, really just picking up a camera, I realized that I had this ability because of the camera because of the tool that I had chosen to capture people the way that I saw them. And for all my faults, one of the things that I am good at is I really see the best in people I look for the best in people. I believe that every single human on Earth is beautiful and worthy and capable and has so much value to give. And so when I pick up that camera, that’s how I approach all I always have approached the client, the human on the other side. And so for me, the passion came from being able to bring somebody in front of the camera who is coming that day with their own insecurities, their own fears, their own doubts, maybe has avoided being in front of the camera for a long time maybe has never felt confident, you know, posing and embracing themselves, whatever that is, each of us are different. But being able to bring them from that camera and just tear every lie down that they’ve ever told themselves and capture them the way that I see them. Radiant, powerful, beautiful, strong, you name it affirmed through my lens. And so whether it was weddings or portraits, and even now like when I mean I’ll occasionally bring it out and photograph for friends and family. My goal is I want to capture them from the way that I see them. And that’s the real power that we have like as a photographer. And in photography and in any creative pursuit. We’re able to take the intersection of reality and our unique perspective and build something out of it. And so, you know, it’s it’s this really magical opportunity where we take what is and what what someone is, you know who someone’s becoming, and how we see them and, and we really infuse it into something that they can they can hang on to. And so it always fired me up. And that gave me a deep sense of purpose. And so, you know, I really I talked about in built to belong, and just how much I struggled, I think before finding that camera to really have something that enabled me to make an impact. And for me, impact gives me purpose, like, I want to help people, I want to improve their lives that lights me up, it’s not a selfless thing, friends, it’s a selfish thing, like, helping other people, for me, is what gets me out of bed in the morning. And so to be able to do that with a camera, it was just this eye opening experience that took me from kind of feeling like Oh, what is what is my purpose? Like, what is the impact that I make to Wow, when I can capture somebody and make them feel beautiful, make them feel empowered, inspire them capture their love story, whatever that looks like, I have this ability to create something that didn’t exist before, and to make a positive impact on my world around me. And so I know it has always been and will always continue to be, I think a huge, huge part of my life.

Quianna Marie
That’s incredible. And I am, I’m just embracing this right now. Because you literally are speaking my love language. That is how I pursue everything. And it’s, it’s interesting, like, this is why I want to kind of get into the nitty gritty of this is, the camera is simply a tool, right? I feel like that’s what happens I feel a lot of times people get really overwhelmed with the tech of their camera. And you know, what’s the new new gadget or the new thing and this and, and growing up, I could not afford all those things. So I totally rocked my D 50. For the longest time I’m a Nikon girl over here. And I just remember thinking there’s there’s it’s so much deeper than the technology and this tool in your hand, you’re making an impact, you’re making these connections. And honestly, the best part is that you get to share your lens with the world, right? Like we get to kind of just I loved how you said like you were you’re blending reality with what you want to be perceived or how you view the world. And when we come in with that light and that happiness and that joy and, and even just unapologetically allowing people to be themselves. That’s when the magic happens,

Natalie Franke
right? Yes, I totally agree. I think even for photographers that say I’m purely photojournalistic, that is my style, I capture what is I always kind of challenge back and say, I’m looking at your images. And that’s not how I would capture them photo journalistically. Like you bring something unique to the table every creator does, and how we approach it, whether we’re you know, leaning more towards the realism side, or relating into surrealism, like we’re leaning into, like the imaginative photography gives you that incredible spectrum from like capturing in a more documentary way through actually creating art that didn’t even exist in the moment, like taking pixels and turn. I mean, it’s, it’s such a phenomenal spectrum. Again, just to say, every single photographer and creator bring something unique to the table, that is their superpower. And whether that is leaning one way or another way on the realism spectrum, nonetheless, they still show up. And that uniqueness that they bring is what makes that impact. It’s why maybe their clients connect with them feel safe with them are able to be vulnerable with them. Maybe it’s the way that they view colors or textures. Maybe it’s the way they want to play with their gear or the way they don’t care about their gear at all. It’s about showing up with the camera that you have not the one that you wish you had. And so it’s all about showing up as you are. And I think embracing what makes your unique perspective, such an asset to the world such a gift to people and leaning into that instead of shying away from

Quianna Marie
it. Amazing. Oh, it’s just so encouraging to know that we all have this gift inside us, we just need to tap into it. So what what advice would you give to someone who’s maybe not a photographer who maybe doesn’t have a passion for their camera, and someone that is maybe feeling a little bit lost, and is having trouble finding their passion? Because like I mentioned, the camera is simply a tool. So what are some other tools or other ways that you can kind of just shine light on someone stepping into their power, and it’s finding that passion? Because it’s so much deeper than just like an industry or a hobby, right? So how do we find those passions within us?

Natalie Franke
radical curiosity? That is the answer. Radical curiosity, curiosity that surpasses all expectations of curiosity, curiosity that pushes you beyond your comfort zone that challenges you to think differently to try new things. Curiosity that says if you keep repeating the same thing over and over, you’re gonna keep feeling stuck over and over. Right? radical curiosity is in my worldview, the answer to so many things, but especially when it comes to uncovering our passion. Some folks find it pretty quickly, they maybe grew up and discover their passion in childhood, or, you know, they had a life circumstance that did shove them out of that comfort zone. And then they were forced to do The curious thing and say, What am I going to do? I’m going to try this and this and this until they find something that sticks. But nonetheless, that curiosity leads us to places we never expected decisions that we make that change our life in an instant relationships we uncover that do the exact same thing. So I would say radical curiosity, not being afraid to really push yourself beyond what you’ve done in the past, and trying something new. And I’ll say this, too. I’ve always loved when someone has said to me, wow, I never thought you’d do that. Because it tells me that I’m challenging myself and growing, whether that was for me getting a tattoo, which, I mean, we talked about this in the book, but like, I always wanted to get a tattoo had never been brave enough to go and actually do the darn thing even though I wanted it so badly. But it was one of those moments of radical curiosity, why am I not doing this thing I want to do I want to try it, I’ll get a small one. And then we’ll see, you know, or bungee jumping, starting a new business, or making a new friend, a friend that maybe I would look at and go, Oh, that person is too cool to hang out with me. Like they are not gonna enjoy hanging out. And but you know, well, what the heck, like, let me just go out on a limb here introduce myself, and that radical curiosity about others about the world about our own potential and, and giftings. And that that keeps us growing and evolving. And I hope I’m still doing that when I’m at, like, my hope is on that person at that’s like, you know what, I’ve never tried insert thing here, I’d love to go do that. As long as I’m able, I that’s my hope for all of you, as well as that radical curiosity.

Quianna Marie
That’s so so so encouraging. And I feel like that is the root of everything, right? Like the root of success, the root of love, the root of connection, the root of relationships. Everything is just rooted in curiosity. And it’s funny to say that not to get too off topic here, because I’m just like, I want to flow with this conversation. But that’s one thing. I love diving deep, and understanding the brainy ness behind it, and that grit versus that intuitive. Just that ambition to succeed, like, where does that where does that stem from? Because there are some people that, you know, there’s like, I call them like the Chandler’s of the world. They love life. And they just want that mundane routine, and they want that security and that safety. And that is incredible if you feel called to do that. And that that’s where you’re supposed to be. However, I’m curious where this entrepreneurship like where is this a piece of our DNA? Is this a piece of, you know, something that is inherited or nurtured or cared for? I just that opens up a whole can of worms about where it comes from. And it all stems from curiosity. It’s, it’s being curious and being two seconds worth of being brave to just try something new. Oh, I love that you wrap that all up into curiosity, because that is just oh my gosh, I’m just going crazy over here. This is perfect. So let’s go ahead and roll right into transitioning and pivoting. So from your story, similar to mine, we rocked it in the wedding industry, we became wedding photographers well known in our small towns, and even nationally recognized and published, you’re just such an inspiration, Natalie. And at one point you thought, okay, I’m feeling lonely. I can’t be the only one. I’m struggling with this. I have questions. And we all are very familiar with rising tide society and how you just bloomed that from a seed, right? Like you just like, ignited that. And I wanted to ask you, what was the pivotal moment where you realized, Hey, I got this going on, I’m successful. Why start something new? Like why dive into that and, and create more work for yourself, right? I mean, that’s really what it was.

Natalie Franke
Yeah, I think I am a natural problem solver. And so when I see a problem, I really want to find a solution for it. In the case of rising tide, for me, it was truly again, like going back to just I had a problem that I needed to solve it. I was tired of feeling lonely. I was really tired of feeling like the only folks who really understood what it was like to be a small business owner, we’re supposed to be my competitors. And I wasn’t supposed to trust them. I think I also saw the problem being that in the photography industry, specifically, there were communities, but beyond the photography industry, that same ideology of gathering together and supporting each other. It didn’t exist, it was sort of almost like in weird pockets of the photo world, but not extensive to like other local small businesses in my hometown. And so it was about not necessarily like doing something else that was going to be great or trying to build something massive. It was just like, there’s a problem. We need to fix it. And whether you are you know, a small business owner that has been doing this for 10 years, or you’re listening to this going like maybe I want to start something maybe I want to start a business. If you focus on solving problems, you will always have a job. There are always problems to be solved. So we can look at this from like an innovation perspective, we can look at this from like a pivoting perspective, like, you know, maybe what you’ve been doing, you’re like, Okay, I know that this season is coming to a close, I need to figure out what my next thing is, then my response to you is, go find a problem and solve it. If you’re in an industry that you love, and you don’t want to let go of what you’re doing, same thing now, you know, where what are the problems in your industry, your space that you can solve, either for your client experience or your creativity? Or how you show up with people and serve them well, or how you network and create relationships? Like, there are no shortage of problems. So for me pivoting and transitioning, it has always gone back to what are the problems that need solving, I mean, even writing built to belong, like, I’ve been asked a couple times over the course the last few months, like why’d you write the book? And my answer was, because I saw a problem, I fixed it in my air in my community, my corner of the world. And then as I started to go through life and experience different hardships, from illness to infertility to motherhood, I realized that this is not a problem, competition, comparison, jealousy. It’s not limited to small business ownership. This is something that everyone I’ve ever met is struggling with in one way or another. So it’s a problem that I need to solve it at a bigger scale in a way that works beyond the current community that I’ve already shared this message with. And so every step I’ve taken, especially over the last decade has been about solving problems. And that would be my advice to anyone listening, like look for a problem set out to solve it, you’re going to uncover so much along the way. And you’re also going to show up with a mindset of serving others and providing value to others rather than just seeking success for yourself. And the best success outcomes actually come not from pursuing success. But from pursuing people from pursuing like solving their problems serving them well. creating value in whatever way you create value. And again, keeping that people first mindset that that solution first priority.

Quianna Marie
So incredible, and I’m so happy you tapped into that because I feel like as I’m developing this podcast, I’m hitting the ground running and I’m blooming in a whole bunch of directions. Honestly, I was kind of juggling is this it’s just a photography podcast, is this just a wedding photography podcast, you know, we say creatives and business owners, and that can be such a huge umbrella and such a huge blanket, right? Like I call it like an oak tree of different things. And with you know, all the different leaves and all the different branches and everything, just shooting out plus all your routes, right? Like I’m such a visual person with what this could be. And, you know, in my trailer, I talk about business as business, right? So it doesn’t matter. Like I say, like put your tools aside, put your tools on the table, welcome to the table, everyone is welcome here. And we are all struggling with a lot of the same things. And so to have this, just this voice, I guess to just share that you’re not alone and that we are conquering the world, we are setting up our own expectations and crushing limitations. This is something that I’m just I’m just so grateful you’re here to chat about this. Thank you. So now as now Okay, so now that you’ve gone full force with rising tide society, and you know that we have chapters and meetups, every, you know, once a month, and you know, this, this community is growing. I kind of want to dig a little deeper with you. And I kind of want to ask a little personal question, what is your advice with as you are experiencing these growing pains, and as you’re growing, and you’re making new connections, there may be some people in your life, some connections they could possibly be family, they could possibly be friends that are not aligned with your wild and crazy dreams and your visions? How do you navigate those friendships while still kind of bursting at the seams and growing your heart to reach others?

Natalie Franke
Cool, okay, here, here’s what I have to say to this because this my stance on this has changed a lot over the years, we have to remember that when we are confronted with how other people feel about what we’re doing, it can bring up a lot of feelings. And we have to go back to the fact that we often judge others based on impact. But we judge ourselves based on intent, meaning, if someone says to you, I don’t think you should start that business, the impact sucks, the impact is not good. So we get upset, we get hurt, right? But But if we were to do the same for somebody else and say, Oh, I don’t know if you should go bungee jumping with your back the way that it is. I’m just saying to myself out loud. You know, our intent is I don’t want you to get hurt. But the impact is you don’t think I should try this thing. You don’t think I’m capable? So why am I raising this? I’m raising this because first I think we have to be able when we’re confronted with people’s opinions about what we’re pursuing, to make a discernment to discern are they for me? Or are they not Because what you’ll often find is that there are folks that might say things to you that are impactfully harmful. Like, they don’t feel good, they’re not good. I’m not saying you should listen, but I am saying you should unpack the intent. I am saying you should sit back and go, okay? Is this because they love me, and they’re afraid, they are afraid what might happen if I fail, they love me so much that they don’t want to see me get hurt, they actually don’t want to see the stream get ripped away from me. And they know the odds are not stacked in my favor. They know the statistics about small business, it’s not that they don’t think it’s possible for me, it’s that they love me so much that their limiting beliefs are then being communicated to me based on their love, or their fear for what could happen. And that’s really them, like that’s on them. And I’m grateful maybe perhaps even for that amount of love, you know, or is it that they truly just don’t want to see you when oftentimes I find it’s, it’s the first it’s sort of like coming from a place especially for those closest to you. where their fears are either a their own limiting beliefs being sort of manifested externally on you, or B, they love you so much. They’re afraid to go see you do this risky, terrifying thing. And they’re the ones thinking about all the ways that can go wrong in my relationship with my husband, I’ll give you an exact example. I am the one that runs with abandon into the possibilities. Like if you tell me that, you know, there’s something out there, that could be wonderful, I will just sprint towards it. I won’t think twice. I’ll go see why. Because you know what, if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, I’ll be fine. But my husband’s a little bit more of a critical lens. He’s in enneagram, eight, he wants to analyze and have a little bit more control and think through all the potential ways that you could go wrong. So sometimes they’ll say things to me, that maybe even sound really discouraging in the moment. But then when I’m willing to sit with him and be like, okay, but why do you think that like, why do you think I shouldn’t do X, or Y, or Z, and I have, I have the ability to lean in, I realized, hey, the man loves me more than anything in the world, be he it’s because he actually wants to see me succeed, that he’s asking these critical questions. It’s not a diss on my kid, or my capability of my potential. It’s simply an asset that I can actually be leveraging with that level of discernment that he has and his unique lens. So I bring all this to the table just to say, often the advice that comes out from folks, and they say, oh, what if someone doubts to you, or gives you that you just throw it away? Don’t listen, you know, ignore it, and I get it, I get why that sounds like great advice. But I also think that we can’t just shut everyone out of our life who has a differing opinion, when it comes to what we want to do. We can take that input and decide how we want to react to it, maybe Listen, maybe we don’t, oftentimes we don’t. And that’s for the better, of course, but you know, sometimes we can can take it in and understand, okay, what’s the intent here is because they really love me, and they’re afraid and apply heaps of empathy in that direction, say, Hey, I hear you like, I know that a lot of small businesses fail. I know that I don’t, I don’t know what I’m doing. Like, I fully admit, I don’t know what I’m doing. But then you return with empathy. I want to find out, if I can do it. I want to see I want to prove to myself that I at least tried and maybe then it’s a great a great opportunity for you as well to communicate your why to communicate your purpose. Because for me, like I live on my life motto that says I’m on my deathbed, I would rather I would so much rather have failed than spent years wondering what would have happened. Right? If I had tried, that’s just me. That’s how I operate like, and I know a lot of y’all are the same way. And sometimes it just takes communicating that like, Look, friend who doubts that I can start this small business. I’d rather fail at this miserably and publicly and humiliate myself in front of everyone, then 20 years from now look back and wonder what would have happened with my life if I had just quit this job and given this thing a shot? And as someone who loves you, their answer might change. The person who was doubting you five minutes ago might say, you know what, you’re right. This could be a massive failure waiting to happen. I don’t want to see that happen for you clearly. But you deserve, you owe it to yourself to try. So my advice is Listen, my advice is discern intent here. If you start to uncover though, friends, there are folks that aren’t for you, that’s a totally different combo, you start to see that there are people that are just trying to tear you down who you know is they’re talking about ideas with you, they just talk about other people instead of championing you and encouraging you. They just gossip about you know, folks that are out there trying to do their thing, and you want to remove that from your life, you want to cut that out. But when it comes to people who are for you often that that feedback that feels critical, or negative or holds you back, it does come from a place of someone else’s trauma, their limited beliefs, their limiting beliefs, their struggle that they experience that they’re putting on you and it comes from a place of love. So when you can discern that and then reaffirm to them, hey, here’s my why, hey, I am going to do this and I want you on my side they’re going to be the also the first ones to suit up because they don’t want to see you fail because they don’t want to see that negative outcome. And so that’s my that’s my very nuanced, but very honest advice after doing this for 10 years, so The people who doubted me the strongest early on in my career went on to become fierce, fierce advocates for projects that I took on. And I am grateful every day that I extended that grace and I didn’t just like cut people out of my life, the minute they didn’t agree with me, I think it can go a long way. Booth,

Quianna Marie
I feel this in my soul, Natalie, seriously, like everything you just said, I can’t even wrap my head around all the golden nuggets that you shared. And I’m such a visual person. So if you’re listening, now I almost I kind of feel these, like I’m a vibe person, right? So I can kind of feel the words that you’re expressing. And sometimes it does feel when we get those gut checks, we get those like, it feels like a just a punch in the gut or a punch to the heart from the ones that we really love, right. And speaking of the ones that are closest to us. Living that I don’t mean twisting it, but just kind of with a different perspective, instead of feeling that gut check, like a punch, think of it like a heart squeeze, right. So that I think is like that’s like the vibe and like the visual I was getting is it’s like they just love you so much. They want to hold you so tightly, kind of like Lenny and you know, Of Mice and Men like I just think of that, like he just loved. You know, you just love someone so much. You just want to hold them tightly. And sometimes as the creative or the Dream Chaser and the wild, you know, just blazing away to our future dreams here. Sometimes that can just hurt so bad. But when you remember that it’s because it’s out of love, completely changes the ballgame. So I’m I’m so happy you brought that up. So I’d like to, I’d like to move into I know you mentioned your husband, and you are such an inspiration. And you know, encouragement for family life and small business. And that is one thing that I really, really, really struggle with, is being able to have it all right. And so I know that that is such a assumption when you see someone, right? We’re always dealing with that comparison. We’re always dealing with that. Those daily struggles, and I call it La La Land photo land, right, like on our Instagrams. So how do you navigate, honestly, having at all like dealing with, you know, the pressures of family, and the pressures of creating that longevity of happiness in all aspects of your life? Right? So is that something that, you know, comes easy for you? Like, I’d love to dive into the real life of having a career and also literally being barefoot pregnant in the kitchen? Like, how would we juggle all those things?

Natalie Franke
I think part of it stems from really being clear on our priorities, knowing what we’re what we want out of life, knowing what we’re working towards knowing what sacrifices we’re willing or not willing to make in a certain season, setting our boundaries, and then holding ourselves accountable to live by that there have been seasons of my life. This one in particular, where I feel like I have worked harder than I’ve ever worked before. And yet, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Because I have so much clarity and so much purpose in why, why I’m working so hard, I also have an understanding that this is a season and not a lifestyle that this will end and that there will be a season of rest and recuperation. And I call it like whitespace like room to be creative again. And so I say all that just to say like, I think we need to get past the facade, that everyone’s juggling all the things well, because they’re not they it’s impossible. But I also think we need to embrace that there are going to be seasons where we have a ton of time for self care, we have a ton of time for creativity, we have a ton of downtime to explore and grow and, you know, invest in different areas of our life that we long for. And then there are going to be seasons, where because of our focus and because of our priorities we’re going to be on the other end we’re going to be working incredibly hard and things might we might work might require more from us and priorities, you know, might enable us to kind of lean in more to like working late but again, I think whenever I’m asked this question i people always say like, oh, how do you do at all? Or how do you work on work life balance, and I you know, for me, it’s like, Look, I’m a student, not a teacher in this arena, like I have made so many mistakes around work life balance. I’ve talked about it so many times over the years. But the biggest learnings that I’ve had and the conclusions I’ve come to, especially in my marriage like with you and I because we talked about this all the time is we’re sacrificing in a season for a lifetime that we want. I am making decisions right now that are exhausting, some of which are my choice. Others of which are timelines. Like obviously, as you know, with baby went through IVF It was not our first fertility round. It was our fourth of this cycle with this with this baby. So my time my previous timeline wasn’t as stressful wasn’t as overlapped. I didn’t plan to give birth to a book and a baby within like eight weeks of each other. That was never The goal or plan, but in my life, that was that was the reality. And so it was kind of a decision of saying, okay, you know, 2021, you are going to be a tiring year, you’re going to be an exhausting year. But you know what? Because I know that I’m going to make 2022 a year of rest of rehabilitation of creativity of space to just explore and strike that balance. So for me, the answer goes back to I don’t think you can juggle it all. At the same time. I think you can juggle it, just you might have to put some, you know, things down here and there and know which ones you’re gonna pick up and why to having clarity. Why are you doing it? What are you fighting for? What What is, what is it that you’re trying to achieve, and the minute we lose sight of that, the rest unravels. So if we’re more focused on like, I just want to be successful, you’re going to burn out, if you’re saying, I have a mission where I want to do this thing, or I want to get to a financial place where I am debt free. So guess what, for the next year, I’m going to make sacrifices, I’m going to change the way I’m spending, I’m going to change the way I’m working, I’m gonna change the way I’m saving. I know I’m going to be real tired. At the end of this, I know I’m gonna be exhausted. But I know my goal, I have clarity, I have purpose. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna move forward when it gets hard towards that goal, because it’s a finite, right? It’s a finite and achievable goal that once I check, once I get debt free, once I do the thing, then then I have I have a new goal to set and more clarity, but I can create that space when needed. And then the third thing I’ll say, on top of all of that, is that it is so important for you to know your own limitations and your own boundaries, and never to compare, never to compare your ability to produce to anyone else’s, your need for self care to anyone else’s, your need for mental health to anyone else’s, because someone might have no issue working 50 hours a week, overtime all the time. But I can speak for myself and say, when I say working hard, that is different, that looks different than what someone else might say working hard looks like, if we’re constantly comparing our definitions of hard work of how much self care is the right amount, how much mental well met, wellness time is the right amount to other people’s, and we’re always going to be failing ourselves. Because we’re gonna be trying to measure up to somebody else’s expectations, we’re really we’ve got to listen to ourselves. So that also means giving yourself grace. If you do need more time for self care than someone else that does mean, you know, if you are able to work harder in one season, and then you realize, Oh, I probably shouldn’t have done that. Make those pivots in those transitions. Don’t continue trying to pursue what you were taught to do, or how it was supposed to work or your work week should look like this, or you should be giving it 40 hours a week. I know people that work 20 hours a week are incredibly financially successful. And for them, that gives them the space to to take care of themselves, such that when they go in for the 20 hours a week, they are twice as productive as they would be otherwise. So I say all that just to say, you know, knowing yourself, listening to your body, listening to your mind, not being afraid to create your own definition of work and success. All of that plays a role. I just again, it’s like community competition. It’s like, don’t focus on your competitors. Don’t focus on what she’s doing, or focus on how they do it. You can learn, you can learn from them, but really get get back in touch with yourself, your superpowers, your limitations, what you need to be successful, and lean and focus on that.

Quianna Marie
so incredible. And I think that’s what makes it so special to when you start removing yourself from that comparison game. And then you start thinking, you know what, I’m grateful for what I have. That has been the biggest kind of turning point, especially for me in this season of my life, right? I mean, I’ve moved out of state, I have a lot of things going for me, I’m chasing these really, really big goals. And I’m still looking for my cowboy, right like, I mean, let’s be honest, like I would just love to just meet him at a wedding or meet him at a restaurant somewhere. I don’t know or a bonfire and so I’m thinking of all these things and it’s always on my mind and so I’m coming from a state of lacking and that is what’s the killjoy of everything so I love how you mentioned how you can juggle all these things and while you are juggling them and prioritizing things and creating your your boundaries please please please don’t forget to always always be grateful and to know that every like I talked about my life being like a dirt road right like it’s dusty it’s windy there’s going to be rocks there’s going to be cliffs don’t get too close to the edge enjoy the view but just remember like having that grateful heart it’s just it’s just that’s what brings more happiness and joy to your life. Oh my goodness thank you so much Natalie so I want to you kind of in closing wrap up here I’d love to chat about built to belong i mean i i am so incredibly proud of you I can’t believe that I mean not only are you a mentor and just this inspiration to me but you are such a good and dear like honest friend like this is the coolest thing like I actually know an author. So can you please please tell me like how are you juggling all of this? What are some unexpected joys that you have experience with the book launch Boom

Natalie Franke
I don’t even I’m going to skip the first question about juggling this and go right into joys because why the heck not the biggest unexpected joy and I think it’s something that it’s not the first time I felt that in my life but it is definitely was sort of an unexpected moment was was hearing how this book is impacted people was hearing folks that picked up this book either because they’re like, I just want it to be nice and support yet or you know, a friend shared it on their Instagram and I thought why the heck not the covers pretty and they like picked up the book and have sent me pages on pages and email, voicemails on voicemails in the DMS like hearing from people okay, I didn’t know how much I needed this or I thought this was a book about community I thought it’d be like this and it took me so much deeper in my own learnings about how I’ve been struggling with my worth and my value and I’m showing up to the table already accepting that I don’t belong before I actually get a chance to even connect with anybody like hearing from people that their understanding new things about themselves or uncovering new life lessons that this book is transforming and changing their lives has been the greatest joy and it’s something that I truly didn’t anticipate at the scale that it’s happened even just in the past couple weeks so I that has been the greatest of choice is like seeing someone come to the table open this book with either expectations or none at all. Like just I just wanted to you know, it looked pretty literally the never people said I love the cover, it was beautiful. A friend shared it, I don’t even know who you are. And I bought it and then are writing me 10 pages and an email saying like, this is the book I needed in 2020 and 2021 like this is the book that I need going into 2022 like just that realization of the impact I think has been the greatest joy and then I’ll share why they’re joy getting to see my two and a half year old son open a book and see his mom’s face I’m like gonna cry but like he opened the book and the first thing he said was like Mama, Mama and he kept pointing at the picture of me in the back of the book. And that was just such an unexpected joy of realizing like this is something that we all experience all creators experience this and I hope everyone has an emotional reaction to realizing that the work you’re creating on this planet, it’s going to outlive you and it’s going to become part of your legacy and seeing my son like an actual legacy of my life look at pieces of work that I’ve created and the pride on his face and just seeing his mom’s picture in the back of this thing that we opened out of a box like it moved me like brought me to tears to think that this is a piece of me that I get to leave behind these words are a statement on what I believe and what I’ve been fighting for what I’ve been working for in my career and the hope that maybe even one day like one of my grandkids will read this book and be like wait the world hasn’t always been like this wait like this isn’t how it’s always been we haven’t always felt like this you know like the hope that maybe this book will actually make such an impact that it almost creates a world where it’s irrelevant like that realization is exciting too. So lots of joys and sharing this with our with our family and our friends and seeing the impact that it’s had already on people and and especially just seeing my son’s he has mama in a book like a project I’ve wanted to do for my entire life has been surprisingly emotional.

Quianna Marie
Oh my goodness. Don’t mind me. I’m just bawling over here. I feel like this. I can’t even thank you enough for being this like launch for the podcast because this is if I can hold this feeling in my hands. This is exactly what I’m trying to create Natalie. Oh my gosh, thank you so so much. I feel this in my soul it It feels like I’m feeling like I’m being acknowledged, but also given that permission to go out and just chase those wild dreams. And so I just, oh, gosh, just kidding. I’m like totally crying over here. But okay, so in closing, I love to ask. And as you are my very first, my first guest, I like to ask if you have a special key tip, which would be like a piece of advice, something you wish you knew five years ago, it could be business life, just some type of key tip that you’d like to share with us.

Natalie Franke
Yep, and none of you will be surprised by this key tip. But I want you to listen to it nonetheless. relationships, relationships, relationships, and anything that you do in life or in business, invest in people. If you put people first you will always always end up better on the other side, whether that’s profitability in business, whether that’s success and fulfillment in life, like you name it, putting people first will always be the right answer. So my best bit of advice is invest in relationships. Don’t always chase after what people are telling you to do in investing relationships. Like a lot of times people say oh network like network and find who’s been successful. I’m like, No, I’m not telling you to do that. I’m saying go out and serve people. I’m saying go out and be kind I’m saying go out and offer value. I’m saying build a relationship, not network. Networking is what can I get out of you relationships are what can I give you, you know, and it creates that reciprocity that’s going to lift you up. So that’s my last tidbit. My best bit of advice is invest in relationships, put people first. If you do that, and you combine it with other things, we’ve talked about being a problem solver you know just digging into your superpower all of that you’re going to be in great shape

Quianna Marie
oh my goodness well we all need to go get our hands on this book built to belong I will be adding the link below in the show notes and I just so exciting to say that because it’s official now and I just can’t thank you enough Natalie and where can everybody find you like where do you hang out where can people to stalk you? Because I don’t know about you but if you’re just meeting Natalie for the first time you need to go be her best friend. So how do we find you?

Natalie Franke
I spend way too much time on Instagram so I always just say at Natalie Franco on Instagram You can also check out Natalie Frank, calm and just as you mentioned, built a blog. It’s available everywhere books are sold. So just search for built to belong or my name Natalie Frank, and let me know how you like it. Let me know what surprises you about the book. Tell me what you’re loving as you turn through the pages. And I just can’t wait. Please, please reach out Connect. I’m happy to support you in any way that I can.

Quianna Marie
Thank you so much. I appreciate all your time. Thank you so much. Thank you. That’s a wrap on another episode of Quianna Marie weekly. Thank you so much for your listenership and support. You can find the resources and Show Notes for this episode and more at quiannamarie.com/podcast. I’d be honored and so grateful if you showed your support by leaving a review and rating on your favorite podcast app. Until next time, keep on dancing.