Photography makes me feel needed, loved and validated. Thank God I have a creative eye that also makes me feel appreciated and valued. I picked up on this self fulfillment playing softball in high school. I was always a great “B” player. I knew every position well and could play anything besides catcher, that’s what Jesse was for. I was pretty damn good, a natural athlete and coachable… but not the best.
Sitting on the bench my Junior year I learned a lot. I kept the team motivated, had some deep and memorable conversations with my favorite coach Steve and I took pictures.
“Q!! Did you get that shot?!”
“You better be there, Qui! Oh and bring your camera, we’re going to have a blast!”
“OMG I can’t wait to see the pics!”
These comments were my everything back then. My self worth was literally derived from my camera in my hand and being at the right place at the right time. I loved taking pictures. I loved making memories and I loved creating slide shows that would make my teammates and our parents cry.
That was my ticket. If I could make people cry (tears of joy, of course) I would be worth having around. I would be valued and included.
From there my business bloomed. I spent my time photographing anyone that would let me and never left the house without my camera. Since I loved photography so much I was introduced to wedding photography and found my calling. My heart would light up and my cup would over flow with joy.
There was this weird power trip involved with wedding photography. You see the food gets devoured, the make up gets washed off and the music eventually stops playing. All that’s left are the photos. Now when I say power trip, I don’t mean the bad kind. Like the bully’s that have some sort of blackmail or anything. But the good kind. The kind that makes me feel irreplaceable. The artist and the keeper of the photos (until the digitals are delivered!).
Weddings brought my photography to a completely different level. See family portraits and soccer games can be rescheduled for another time, but weddings…those only happen once. Only one day within about 6-8 hours. That’s it. Only one shot to get it right. This made me feel even more empowered. Even more reasons to feel valuable.
I hope and pray that you don’t feel this way. Okay, not about me, personally. But about yourself.
You are valued. You are loved. You are irreplaceable. Just by being you.
If you happen to do something that makes your heart happy while loving and serving others then that’s a win-win and I wish I could give you a hug right now! But if you are just doing you. If you have food in the fridge, a warm bed to sleep in and a good friend or two with a family that loves you… You are enough. More than enough.
You see you don’t need anyone to tell you otherwise. I am telling you now. You are loved. Whatever you decide to do or whoever you decide to be please be the best version of yourself first. You are more than what you do. After all, your business and your passion would be nothing without you.
I am excited and terrified to share my thoughts among bold, brave and honest boss ladies for the movement #theimperfectboss This week small business owners, creative hearts and hot messes are sharing their hearts about the truth. The truth of insecurities, troubles and challenges of running a business. You’re invited to join!
With Love, Quianna Marie
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